2005-12-02

Avery's In!


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After reading of poor Widder Olds' desperate plight to free her late husband's farm money from some sort of tricky financial entanglement, Avery was moved. Who wouldn't be? He considered it for a while. There'd be some risk, sure. He might even have to go on the line financially to help out here. But darn it, how could he look himself in the mirror every morning if he didn't do what he could to help out?
Mrs Olds,

First let me express how sorry I am for your loss. I can especially appreciate your situation as I am a former tobacco / cattle farmer myself. blood and guts nature of farm / government relations was all too familiar to me. my case a bunch of farmers took offense to me letting my cattle graze on their land, so I can understand how opressive one's peers can be. finally had to give up farming and started my own perjury business.

Because I became so obesed with your case, I knew I had to help you in any way that I can. One thing, however. my country the usual ratefor subverting money out of the prying eyes of evil overlord governments is 25%, not 15%. I hate to seem like a money-grubber. Personally I am moved to help you at whatever cost, but I have another client who is attempting to embezzle money from a certain Latin American government - I won't say who it is, but it begins with "H" and ends with "duras," if you get my meaning. Anyway, I already arranged a similar rate with this client, and their story is equally heart-wrenching with a dismemberment, a disfigurement and a still born elephant ... just so sad.So anyway, I really am eager to help.

If the rate I quoted is agreeable I hope you'll contact me so we may begin this venture and get your money back to you.

Hope to hear from you,
Avery Lunch

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