2005-12-08

Chris' Excuses and Financial Demands


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In my last letter to the Johannesburg duo, besides giving them John Kerry's, er, MY office number, I had complained about the sudden email addy change and the problem I was having getting through to them by phone. Before they had a chance to try to contact me, they rushed to reassure me. Ahhh these guys ... so customer-oriented.
Dear Mr Lunch,
We got your mail this morning, and was deeply touched about your complains.Our cell phone number is ok +2782970****, but the reason why you could not get through to us is what we do not know, but it could be attributed to network problem as sometimes experienced in some third world countries as your technology could not be compared with that of third world contries.Another reason could be, if you called us yesterday being sunday, you cannot get through to us as we were in our normal sunday service and church programms which lasts till 3 pm noon.phones are swiched off.For the sudden change of email addresses by kathy, Msn wrote to her to pay in money to renew her account which has lasted for one year now, but being that things are not rossy anymore with us i told her to open a new email account with sify .com. That account is still open till now but mails dont come into it, we never new about this problem untill you complained. I tried sending a mail to her from my yahoo email account, but my mail returned back undelievered. We have never experienced such before.Even as at the time of writing this mail to you, the oldkathy@****.*** account is still open. I now advised her to open a new account with webmail for another trial. We know the problem of the msn account, her credit card is at zero point hence there is no money there.All these will be normalised soon by the grace of God immediately we are able to get this transaction concluded with you.This money has been with the security company for over five years now, we have been paying a lot of money to the security company monthly, and cannot afford to pay again as all the money we came into south africa with has been drained.Our stories and predicaments is not something we can tell you by email not untill we meet face to face.

Mr Launch, i want to assure you that we exist, we are not spirits or ghosts, we are from zimbabwe, we are not south africa citizens. We came into south africa because of the problem in zimbabwe which the british prime minister Tony Blair has been fighting President Mugabe of zimbabwe. We thank God that President Bush of united stateshas finally stepped into the matter.Finally, please do not have doubts over us, afterall when you come here all the transaction will be done right inside the bank.Please start arranging your trip as we will now consult with the bankers who are assisting usto know what you are required to come here with.We are also owing the security company some money which has not been ascertained untill we do account reconcilliation.All these will be relayed to you.I will call as you directed, pls oncemore i still have to tender our apologies.God bless you.

Chris.
Tel+2782970****.
p.s. try to call again, maybe the problem may also be from your side, but please dial your contries dial out access code first, then dial 27, which is the code for south africa, then my number 82970****.please we have not been to America before.

Oh where do you NOT laugh. Deeply touched by my complaints, the church services that last til 3pm Noon, and at least we know that they are not spirits or ghosts. It seems that Chris also had a meeting with a group of Christian bankers if you can believe that, and they were able to lay out the financial obligation on Avery's part. They have gotten to the money business rather quickly.
Dear Mr Avery Lunch,

We were in the meeting today with some of our christain brothers in faith who are top bankers here to seek their expertise advise on how we can go ahead with you in the whole transaction and get it concluded hitch free.The following proceedures below are the things you will along with during your visit to johannesburg south africa assist us get this transaction concluded within 4 bank working days as they advised.

The bankers told that to make the whole transaction look guenuine and hitch free and to avoid south african reserve bank officials from raising eye brows during deposition of funds into the non resident bank account you will open during your visit here, the following proceedures must be taken by you if you are very willing to assist us.
You will bring along when coming to johannesburg the followings;

[a]YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT WHICH IS NEEDED FOR THE OPENING OF THE NON RESIDENT BANK ACCOUNT.THAT PROOVES THAT YOU ARE A VISITING BUSINESSMAN TO SOUTH AFRICA AND NON RESIDENT HERE ALSO.

[b] USD100 [ONE HUNDRED US DOLLARS FOR OPENING OF THE NON RESIDENT ACCOUNT.

[c]THE ACCOUNT MUST BE UPGRADED IMMEDIATELY AFTER OPENING WITH AT LEAST USD10,000,00 [TEN THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS] BEFORE WE CAN TAKE DELIEVERY OF FUNDS FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY TO THE BANK FOR DEPOSITION.THE OPENING OF ACCOUNT AND FUND DEPOSITION CANNOT BE THE SAME DAY OK.THE BANKERS WILL BE DEPOSITING THE FUNDS IN SEGMENTS, BIT BY BIT OK.

I went to the security company morning and made a request by letter of application that we want to take delievery of our consignment which has been in their custody for years now, after all verifications,they ascertained everything ok.
They told that their cost of delievery of the consignment straight with their bullion van to the bank and insurance based on the face value of what is deposited is USD6,200.00 [SIX THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS]

So the total amount needed from all our calculation today is USD16,300.00
[SIXTEEN THOUNSAND, THREE HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS.

Mr Launch, the truth about the matter is that we cannot afford this amount of money needed now to get this transaction actualised, We have been paying the sum of almost USD1000 [one thousand dollars] monthly to the security company for their services for more than 5 years now. We have ran out of money, and that is the reason why we must take this money out from south africa now, because immediately we cannot afford to pay again, then we may start having problems with the security company, and all we are doing will be exposed.The security company is not authorised by south african laws to keep money in their custody,late Martind his contact to perfect that arrangement. please peruse our mail very well and please my brother think of how you can come to our aid to assist us get the needed funds as outlined above to get this transaction actualised.All about this transaction will be done between you and the bank officials right inside the bank and they have promised to use their position in the bank to assist us get all concluded very well .

Lastly the bankers also said that immediately all funds had been deposited into your non resident bank account, you will issue a written instruction to the bank that they should start transfering the funds to your overseas bank account, based on the issued instruction, the bank here will start transfering the funds in segments also, bit by bit to your overseas bank account, the reason they gave while the funds should be transfered bit by bit is because of the money laundering laws and terrorism since after the bombing of the world trade centre in the united states.please we are waiting for your kind and urgent response.I will call you on telephone tomorrow so that we can discuss and get all arrangements concluded and please advise your secretary to start making arrangements for your visit to south africa immediatey.God bless you.

Chris.

Absolutely amazing plan. I'm contemplating which way to go. It might be fun to tease them by just asking if I can wire the total sum to Chris. Or, I could call their bluff and ask for contact information so that I may begin getting the funds to the appropriate people. Either way, it appears Avery is headed to South Africa!

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