2006-01-24

__ With the Stars


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All of a sudden the stars are flexing their other talents in a litter of shows including But Can They Sing?, Dancing with the Stars, and Skating with Celebrities. The thing is, half of the time I don't care to see these self-important twits using their primary talent, much less things they aren't likely to be very good at.

But, that's not to say that the star/"reality" combination is without possibilities. Here now, I proudly present my celebreality package, coming soon to a second-tier cable network near you.

1. Balancing Checkbooks with the Stars! This would be the Jeopardy of my celebreality package. At the start each contestant would be given a checkbook, bank statement and spouse who doesn't keep their receipts. Then the clock and the mysterious background music start. To make things more difficult, Alex Trebec will occasionally throw in condescending comments like, "I would have thought you would have known how much braces cost." The contestant who comes closest to balancing, wins a fuel-efficient automobile.

2. But Can they Eat for a Week on Less than 50? Contestants must purchase and prepare food for a family of four for one week, given just $50. Sounds simple? Well, we have some surprises in store. Just when a contestant thinks they have things under control, one of their kids will enter with two friends, make up a bunch of snacks in the microwave, take two bites and leave their nearly full plates sitting on the couch.

At the end of each show, one contestant is eliminated via a Saturday Afternoon Grocery Shopping at Kroger Deathmatch!

3. Fuel of Fortune - At the show's opening contestants are told that they will need to figure out how to get two kids to school, both spouses to work, one kid to soccer, the other kid to piano lessons, and finally return home with everyone at the end of the day. Just as everyone breathes a sigh of relief thinking that this won't be so bad, the host says, "Oh, and by the way, did I mention that we're raising the price of a tank of gas to 25% of your monthy income!? Go!!"

Hope you'll be watching!

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