Terrible Swift Word - 2nd ed.

Moving Day

2006-03-21T04:03:00.000-05:00

Terrible Swift Word has moved. Check out the new site at ...

http://tsw2.brianjb.net

Bracket Devastation

2006-03-20T11:55:00.000-05:00

Wow. After 2 rounds my brackets are almost completely demolished. Three of my Final Four are gone including my champion and runner up. What a brutal, but exciting, year for March Madness.

Weak 1's: I still hold that the 1's are weak, but that may not matter as all four are still alive and for some, the seas are parting before them.

U Conn barely made it past Kentucky, but now the only teams standing between them and the Final Four are Washington and Wichita State or George Mason. Yeah, I know, don't sell them short, those teams are pretty good, yada, yada, yada. Weekend 2 is when the Cinderellas come crashing back to earth.

Next weekend will show whether Duke is a worthy #1 with two tests; LSU and then Texas or West Virginia (both are playing well).

Villanova is on the most treacherous road for a 1-seed. Arizona a #8? I don't care what they did during the season, the Wildcats are a tournament team and Lute Olson is a tournament coach. Getting by them was a big achievement for Villanova. Next up ... Boston College and then Florida or Georgetown. All three are strong and clicking as we head to the regionals.

Memphis has quietly (as usual) been the strongest 1-seed so far. Bradley shouldn't be much of a threat, but look out for UCLA who should make easy work of the over-rated Zags.

How bad do you want it? When it comes to the bracket-busting surprises the shame of it is that North Carolina, Illinois, Kansas, Syracuse, etc. didn't lose to better teams. They simply didn't come to play.

Old Age and Treachery: Interesting observation by Dick Vitale (I know, I was as shocked as anyone, but I guess when you talk as much as he does you're bound to stumble upon something now and again) on Saturday: With early defection to the NBA becoming so commonplace, we'll be seeing a lot more matchups between experienced upperclassmen-led mid-majors and younger and more athletic power teams. Things have been trending this way for a while now, and while it may prove to be an equalizer that generates some early-round surprises, the big dogs still seem to dominate the Final Four.

March Madness on Demand: Sunday afternoon we had the Kentucky game so I decided to try out CBS' online March Madness on demand to watch North Carolina. Pity the folks who are paying for this "service." It wasn't bad. I did get to see part of the game. Some of the problems ...

As is common with streaming media, the loading/buffering process can take some time and often misfires for high-demand events. Also, even with a healthy buffer, the playback is susceptible to interruptions. Unfortunately this peaked with about 5 minutes left in the game when the teams started trading the lead (in other words when everyone wanted to see it). I was suddenly booted and could never get it loaded back up.

Also, if you're going to use this, don't keep your TV on CBS in the background. The two use different delays, and when other games get exciting CBS will quickly switch over to them. So all of a sudden you have no idea what is going on in the game you are watching because you have no idea what game you are watching and it all just totally messes with your head.

You'll be Surprised to Hear it ...

2006-03-17T00:25:00.000-05:00

... but Blogger is SUBAR again.

Admittedly things are better than they used to be, but it seems like it returns to form at the worst times ... such as when you're trying to just fire off a quick post.

So, I head out to the Blogger status blog, and it is down which is helpful.

So, TSW2 may be moving soon. Stay tuned ...

Salley Out on a Limb

2006-03-17T00:21:00.000-05:00

After what had to be days of excruciating analysis and soul-searching, John Salley finally unveiled his Final Four picks on BDSS: Duke, U Conn, Villanova, and Memphis. Those who have been scrutinizing their own brackets will quickly recognize that these are the four #1 seeds.

In other words, this is Salley's usual lack of creativity when it comes to situations that require imagination and critical thinking. What I'm trying to figure out however, is whether or not Salley went out on a limb here.

In theory these are the best teams in each region. But history demonstrates that #1's don't roll to the Final Four in bunches. As I've already speculated, this year's crop of top seeds is especially soft including overall #1, Duke.

So at the end of the day, though he probably didn't intend it, John Salley has probably gambled as much as anyone with his Final Four picks.

Brackets and Madness Notes

2006-03-15T15:55:00.000-05:00

Now that the Monmouth-Hampton game is in the books I can proceed with my picks.

First, I reiterate that this thing is wide open. I'm not ultra-confident in my ability to figure who will get to them, but this year's top seeds can be gotten to. I'll be surprised to see more than one #1 show up in Indianapolis.

Part of this is because the high seeds aren't as strong as usual, and part of it has to do with some questionable seeding. Tennessee comes to mind.

Atlanta Region:
Duke may have won the ACC Tournament, but they are vulnerable. Carolina exposed Duke's over-reliance on Redick and a one or two other stars.

I'm picking Syracuse to advance out of this region. McNamara has already become the guy the ESPN'ers love to slobber all over. Whatever. Syracuse is rolling and Boeheim is one of those coaches who will wring the most out of his players in the tournament.

Upsets: NC State over Cal in an "upset" that won't be an upset. NC State over Texas will be a genuine surprise. Syracuse over LSU and Duke. West Virginia over Iowa en route to the regional final.

Oakland Region:
IMHO this is the toughest region to pick. I'm pretty confident Memphis is over-rated, but this region is stocked full of teams that could run over the field or fall in their first game.

I'm picking Kansas to make it through to the Final Four. Gonzaga is also over-rated, but they are a team ESPN loves to love. I hope my pick of Xavier with the big opening round upset proves true cuz I sure don't want to listen to Vitale if the Zags do anything exciting.

Other Upsets: Kansas over Memphis. Marquette over UCLA and Indiana en route to the regional final.

Washington, DC Region:
U Conn seems to have emerged as the consensus strongest team in the field. I do have them rolling to the regional final. But that's where a Tar Heel team on the rise will topple the Huskies and return to the Final Four. I would not be surprised however, to see a rematch of last year's Championship game (UNC vs. Illinois) in this regional final.

As already mentioned, Tennessee is over-seeded. They won't see the second weekend.

Upsets: UAB over Kentucky if you want to call in an upset. Seton Hall over Wichita St and Tennessee.

Minneapolis Region:
For my money, the strongest region. If Villanova can get past Monmouth, which is rolling after last night's big win over Hampton, they'll still have Wisconsin or Arizona, Boston College, Ohio State, and Florida among others waiting in their path. They won't have to beat all of these teams but they'd better be ready for three difficult games just to get to Indianapolis.

I don't think they can do it, so I'm going with Boston College.

Upsets: Wisconsin over Arizona - mild upset at best. Montana over Nevada. Honestly, I don't know either team, but every year a 12 does it to a 5. UW-Milwaukee over Oklahoma. Georgetown over Ohio State and Florida en route to the regional final. Boston College over Villanova.

Final Four:
Syracuse over Kansas.
North Carolina over Boston College.

North Carolina over Syracuse to defend their crown, or actually Sean May and a bunch of other NBA guys' crown.

Apprentice 5-3: You've Got to Have a Plan

2006-03-14T00:44:00.000-05:00

Coming back from the first commercial break, we always geta few words of insight from the Donald, usually on a topic that will turn out to be key to the episode's outcome. This week he talked about flexibility and the necessity for having a "Plan B."

Over at Gold Rush however, PM Theresa would have done well to have at least a "Plan A" at some point. Any point. Embarking on the mission. During the Chevy Tahoe event. Even in the boardroom. Had she had and stuck to a strategy at any of these points, she might still be a candidate.

The teams were tasked with educating and motivating Chevy Dealers on the new Tahoe. Both teams put on a Corporate retreat. After Sean noted that the new Tahoe is as rugged as ever but with new "refined features" Synergy went with the theme: Nature-Refined. They had rock-climbing, golf cart races and a number of other outdoor-ish activities, meanwhile touting the Tahoe.

Theresa's big theme: some kind of elegant, classy mish-mash. She locked in on carriage rides, a fancy meal, open bar, and golf. At one point Bill Rancick hoped that the Chevy dealers were big drinkers since Gold Rush's theme seemed to rely on "getting them liquored up and dazzling them with models." What went wrong? The "golf" was lame because instead of a lush green the team's area was a weedy expanse of dirt. There wasn't near enough time to educate the spokes-models on the Tahoe enough to answer dealer questions. Charmane hired a comedienne who went vulgar and offended the audience. And then there were the usual interpersonal tiffs. When confronted about his failure to find a generator Lenny replied, "It's not my problem."

As a result, Lenny was Theresa's early target. Once in the boardroom however, Theresa attempted to throw every teammate but Bryce under the bus. Whenever Trump's team exhausted one player's failure Theresa would introduce another. It looked as if her blitzkrieg style might work as much of the conversation focused on Tarek and Lenny. Not one to buck the momentum Theresa brought those two back to the boardroom. It turns out Trump & Co would have preferred to have Charmane in their grasp.

In the end, Theresa committed a couple of Apprentice Cardinal Sins. Lenny has been Gold Rush's most difficult member by far. As a result, Theresa's most vigorous attacks were reserved for him. But, in the boardroom "cause of this specific failure" beats "generally annoying" almost always, and this has been tested numerous times. Perhaps it is because going after Lenny wasn't a good strategy, but Theresa erred in not sticking to a boardroom strategy. Instead, by throwing out a number of possible culprits and screwups, she underscored the fact that the team didn't perform well across the board which brings attention back to the PM. Theresa was fired.

Lest we forget, there was Tarek sitting across the table from Trump who two tasks earlier had declared him "totally over-rated." Upon leaving the boardroom Tarek offered a lame, "I'll step it up." The Donald was not impressed.

While Lenny established himself as the least-liked member of Team Gold Rush, he earned praise from Bill Rancick who was sitting in for George. He may have been abrasive in the process, but Rancick called him a "bulldog." In the final boardroom, when Trump was trying to decide between firing Theresa or Tarek he asked Lenny what he should do. Lenny: "Fire them both." Just in case his team might have been tempted to bury the hatchet when he returns.

And let's not forget Brent. Synergy is still asking little of him and Brent is still happy to oblige by doing little. However, this week's most pathetic moment came when Brent returned to the suite after Pepi and Stacy were fired. Upon seeing Brent, Andrea locked herself in the bathroom for a good cry. Over-dramatic much? The "next week" teaser promised that we'll see Brent step way, way, way over the line!

Colt Heads out to Pasture

2006-03-14T00:38:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh Arizona. Apparently this is where the horses go to quietly spend their senior years, frolicking in relative anonymity.

By the way, an ESPN'er had the nerve to ask an expert why Edgerrin James was moving on. Granted, some guys will make a move to land on a team that can compete and reach the playoffs. James already had that in Indianapolis.

And it's not like blue chip running backs sit around dreaming of the opportunity to play for the Arizona Cardinals and their weak O Line.

This was a money grab, and a good one. Not only did James break the bank, his deal is heavily front-loaded.

Sports
NFL

Hayes: After Years of Dishing it out, Can't Take it Anymore

2006-03-14T00:18:00.000-05:00

FOXNews.com - Foxlife: Entertainment and Lifestyle News - Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'

Why is Hayes quitting?

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins..."

In fact, since 1997 there has been a place in Hayes' world for satirical attacks on the religions of others, as well as on political points of view, sexual orientations, disabilities, all in addition to general vulgarity and obscenity.

Then, a few months ago South Park turned it's wit on the Church of Scientology, of which Hayes is a member, and the voice of Chef had an epiphany.

Matt Stone said it best:

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

Ahem. Chef? Before you head out on the high road, what was that you were singing about your Chocolate Salty Balls?

Anticipating the Madness

2006-03-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a great NCAA Tournament - the field is wide open.

Overall top seed Duke came into the ACC tournament struggling. In advancing to ACC finals they've reinforced their #1 standing, but Carolina demonstrated that the Blue Devils are beatable.

The other team vying for #1, U Conn, exited the Big East tourney early and has also been shown to be vulnerable.

There just isn't a potential #1 seed that seems to be an iron-clad lock to reach the Final Four. Think Syracuse. Think Boston College. Think about a host of pesky mid-majors. More dangerous teams than ever will fill the brackets later today.

According to Mike and Mike a number of mid-majors will crash the party at the expense of major conference marginal teams. On the other hand, South Carolina is one game away from stealing a tourney berth from one of the hopefuls.

This must be a record: On the Duke-BC broadcast, we were less than a minute and a half into the game when Dick Vitale made his first "Robert Montgomery Knight" reference.

And yesterday Digger Phelps made his bid to become the Lee Corso of College Hoops with his assanine "I'd rather be a #2 than a #1 seed," speech. The point he was trying to make was that this year's 1-seeds are weaker than normal, which I agree with. He just chose a really dumb, nonsensical Corso-esque way to express that point.

Hansbrough and the Heels

2006-03-10T22:44:00.000-05:00

Just got done watching the Tar Heels dispatch Virginia en route to the ACC tournament semi-finals. I'm always up for a powder-blue win, but this one was more of a struggle than it should have been. Had the Cavaliers been hitting from outside Carolina's weekend might well have ended early.

Another key to the Cavs effort: they didn't give Carolina's freshman star, Tyler Hansbrough, room to breathe. Hansbrough's modest 17-pt outing was a far cry from last Sunday's explosion that powered the Heels over arch-rival Duke.

There is no doubt that Hansbrough has serious game. He's a force in the paint, a monster on the glass, and for a big man his outside shot is obscene. Tonight Virginia demonstrated that even Hansbrough can't beat a triple-team. With every opponent in the vicinity rushing Hansbrough every time he touches the ball, Tar Heel success depends on two things: 1. Other Heels stepping up, and 2. Hansbrough learning how to distribute the ball.

The good ones have Hansbrough's skills. The great ones know how to beat you, regardless of your defensive strategy.

Shifting gears, it's time for another stupid announcer moment. Watch any Carolina game and you can't miss hearing how Hansbrough is the first freshman to lead Carolina in scoring and rebounds for the season. OK. But then you'll get the added observation, "That's really something when you think of all the great players that have come through this program!"

There have been some great Heels through the years, no doubt. Eventually the NBA Hall of Fame will be littered with Carolina alums. But most of the greatest (so far), came through during the era of Dean Smith, who was notorious for keeping his freshmen on ice. How can you call yourself a college basketball announcer and know so little about the University of North Carolina?

Abundance of Alliteration is Absolutely Annoying and Amateurish

2006-03-10T14:49:00.000-05:00

Check out this series of headlines from The Ohio State Lantern and see if you can detect the literary device that is being used ad nauseum:

"Mountain movie"
"'Girl's Gotta': gals grabbing, grubbing"
"Move over Mozart: Student study songs"
"Break into the Biz: easily enter essay and enjoy"
"Lacrosse lads lament loss, look to Lions"
"System stinks, some students say"
"COTA colludes to convert Columbus commuters"
"Stressed students should seek support"
"Machine molds melted metal model"

Mind you I didn't have to cull the archives. These all published this morning. To read some of these pieces you'd guess, perhaps correctly, that more time was spent trying to squeeze out an alliterative headline than in actually writing the article.

I get that alliteration can add punch to a headline when used carefully. But these examples ... it's like their prof told them last week that alliteration should be used in headlines and now, green college students that they are, they can't imagine doing it any other way.

That's ok though. When I was a Christian Ministries major we had a minister who'd actually experienced an exorcism come and speak to us. For the next week a group of my fellow CM majors were running around campus spotting demons and trying to cast them out.

I guess over-alliteration isn't so bad after all.

College Football's most hated ...

2006-03-10T08:27:00.000-05:00

Fanblogs.com is running a poll on College Football's most hated figure.

The timing kind of sucks. On the doorstep of March Madness, who is thinking about College Football? But I am a fan so I weighed in. Corso for Most Hated!

Apparently I'm not alone. My boy is running in 6th right now with 8% of the vote. Not suprisingly, the Old Ball Coach has a commanding lead. To a guy like Spurrier, that could be the supreme compliment.

Games Corporations Play: AutoZone

2006-03-10T08:10:00.000-05:00

Speaking of economics, Michelle Leder at footnoted.org has, in her hashing out of AutoZone's stock buyback a great case study on the difference between appearance and reality.

AutoZone is embarking on a stock buyback. Hurray! The company is bullish on its future, right? Well, the effects of the buyback are not good. AutoZone's debt ratio will jump from 5 to 30 percent. The increased debt led to the company's debt being reduced to "junk." So those who don't participate in the buyback will have their modest share price increase easily matched by interest expense. Somehow management finds this "more efficient."

Turns out a 29% AutoZone shareholder will give up his entire holding in the buyback. The difference between "buyback" and "insider sale"? The former sounds better, the latter sounds an alarm that can send investors running. Not much else in this case.

As always, good work Michelle.

One America Blog: If he only had a brain

2006-03-10T07:42:00.000-05:00

John Edwards is blogging. So, he's found a new forum for all of the nothing that's in his head.

Today's post trumpets a typical simple-minded Democratic idea:

"You have the opportunity to improve the lives of millions of working Americans - please join us as we fight to raise the federal minimum wage to $7.25 an hour."

Improving lives by causing them to lose their jobs? by reducing what their paycheck will buy?

You Dems. Just keep assuming folks will buy in to the immediate obvious results of your plan ("Oh boy! Free money courtesy of the government!") and not think about the longer-term effects ("What if my employer can't afford me?" "Is it realistic to assume my employer will just eat the increase instead of passing it along in the form of higher prices?")

Get back to your fund-raising Johnny. You've got a Hillary to beat.

Thanks to instapundit for the link.

March Madness

2006-03-09T22:51:00.000-05:00

I love this time of the year. And while the brackets haven't been cast yet, the surprises are flowing and desperate teams abound - the Madness has begun!

Let's dispense with the Homers first. After playing tough down their brutal home stretch the Cards didn't make it to the Big East tourney. The faithful will cling to Louisville's 5-pt final deficit in their loss to Pittsburgh. The game wasn't nearly that close. Now we'll have to wait and see which Louisville team will show up in the NIT.

Still in the Big East, Syracuse! After being left for dead at the end of the regular season the Orangemen are making some big noise in the Conference Tourney. After a narrow victory over Cincinnati last night, the 'Cuse took out top-ranked U Conn in overtime earlier today. The way they are playing right now, Syracuse might just snag the auto-bid and squelch the at-large debate.

Marquette - GTown is kind of weird. Marquette got the Big East first round bye but the Hoyas are ranked higher. Oh well. Georgetown moved on and they too have strong game right now.

Tomorrow things will heat up as the ACC and SEC send their top dogs into the fray.

Selig Getting Tough?

2006-03-09T22:48:00.000-05:00

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is going to review the latest information to fuel the Barry Bonds steroid rumor mill.

OK, let's call it what it is: a new batch of heresay that is much more credible, and much more damning than what we had previously. But it is still not the irrefutable proof that some will require before we can stop throwing around the ridiculous word "alleged."

Personally, how much more obvious could it be? Perhaps if he stops and shoots up at second base it would convince the apologists.

But I digress. One wild rumor circulating on sports talk today had Selig mulling a Bonds suspension. Interesting. It's a fight I'd love to see. But before the commish could ever consider such a move he'd need to get permission from his boss, the MLBPA.

Haloscan on the Fritz

2006-03-09T07:49:00.000-05:00

Pardon the intermittent comment and trackbacks. Something is up with Haloscan this morning.

MS Office Registry Hacks at TechRepublic

2006-03-08T07:42:00.000-05:00

Frequent MS Office users should check out this collection of registry hacks at TechRepublic. I have been looking for a tool that would allow me to add custom locations to the "look in" sidebar on the "open" and "save as" dialogs. It will also be nice to get rid of some of the minor auto-annoyances; clipboard toolbar, window resizing, etc., that MS builds in to their product.

Some will appreciate the ability to permanently disable those pesky office "helpers," Microsoft's version of Barney. Me? I'm ok with just shutting them off.

I've got to hand it to TechRepublic. Besides being my former employer back in the heady dot-com days, they are a great tech resource even for the non-geek. One note: a free membership is required for a portion of their content including the registry hacks download. At a cost of NOTHING, it's worth it.

The Ghost of NFL Future?

2006-03-08T07:25:00.000-05:00

Take a good look. If the cap goes away, if revenue sharing goes away, here are the Boston Red Sox and NY Yankees of the NFL. Sure there are other deep pockets in the NFL, but Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones have the unique combination of a willingness to spend freely and franchises that can be milked to fuel their excesses.

The thing that baffles me is how 32 wealthy businessmen can collectively be so blind. Why is the NFL so wildly successful while MLB struggles? The salary cap and revenue-sharing.

You want to be like baseball? Go ahead. Take off the reins. Let the Jones' and Snyders' buy up all of the blue chip free agents. Shut down teams like Green Bay and Kansas City who are cornerstones of the league's rich history. Boil the Super Bowl down to an annual 8-team race, only occasionally interrupted by an upstart owner who decides to buy a championship.

Owners, if you can't figure it out this time, don't worry. You'll never have to worry about how to divide up this much revenue ever again.

Sports
NFL

Apprentice 5-2: Tropical Storm Brent Upgraded

2006-03-07T10:28:00.000-05:00

Big surprise this week as Bill Rancick and Ivanka Trump stood in for George and Carolyn. The original, and IMHO best Apprentice winner so far, Bill is always a fan favorite. It was interesting to see Ivanka. She's attractive (in an absolutely flawless sort of way), blonde, smart and has a finance degree. Did Trump figure out how to buy himself a daughter?

This week our little hopefuls were sent scurrying to raise text hits in a promo for Gillette's Fusion 5-bladed razor. Aside: Man, I'm still using a Mach 3, but it is Turbo, so I've got that going for me.

Behind the scenes, personality games continued. The rift from last week's boardroom? Lee stepped up to be the Gold Rush PM and Lenny was the bulldog behind his team's success, while Tarek wisely fell in line. He did secretly speculate that PM'ing this one would be too much for Lee, and despite the victory I think I agree with him.

Meanwhile Tropical Storm Brent reached Hurricane strength as Synergy spent the better part of their first day trying to deal with the unruly bull in their china shop. Brent confronted Stacy about repeatedly interrupting him which Stacy managed to inflate into anything from "no big deal" to aggravated assault depending on the moment. The funniest thing was watching Synergy PM Pepi, after being put up to it by the team, try to fire Brent.

That was the Synergy story for this task. The team was out of control and Pepi was always a step behind. On money day, the sun rose to find Synergy nestled all snug in their beds with Gold Rush having quietly exited the loft. Trump would later point out that Gold Rush logged over 100 text hits before Synergy even woke up.

Having lost a lot of time, Michael suggests that Synergy hit Times Square in their bath robes to attract interest. It got worse. Much, much worse. Things were going pretty slow for Synergy, so Brent decided that dancing, and "robotics" (his term) my draw some interest. Have I mentioned that Brent is rather, ummm, chunky. And not in a cute, Danny DeVito sort of way. No, this is a dress up or wear loose-fitting clothes chunky. Sloshing around in a white bathrobe and t-shirt is more info than we need.

Funny thing is, Brent came away seeing himself as the star on this one. It reminds me of Sammy trying to sell a glass of lemonade for $1,000 in season one. He came away proud that he had demonstrated the lengths to which he'd go to win, and be the Apprentice. Everyone else came away thinking, "Man, not only did you fail, you made an a** of yourself in the process!"

Lenny correctly understood that this was no time for creativity. Gold Rush needed feet on the street. The team members circulated and get the word out. All across Times Square passersby were inspired to text "closer" to the magic number.

Results: Gold Rush wins 683 - 458 hits.

Predictably, Synergy lines up against Brent. Or do they? Suddenly Stacy is waffling on the nature of Brent's "attack." No matter, Pepi has little choice. If he can't put Brent in the crosshairs, then he, the PM, is in danger.

Trump and Bill didn't give the "Brent de-railed us" defense much traction. They find it hard to believe that defense attorney Stacy could be so frightened by a simple buffoon.

Under fire in the boardroom: Brent because Trump's team is also not buying his claim that he was a star on the task. Michael for coming up with the bathrobe idea which, as Ivanka correctly pointed out, was beneath a quality brand like Gillette. Stacy for choosing horrible locations. Pepi for PM'ing this mess! In an effort to increase his chances of survival, Pepi brought the other three back into the boardroom.

As the group stepped out to let Trump confer with his team, the Donald informed them that due to the magnitude of their loss, he'd be firing two people. Nice! That gave them something to chew on in the waiting room!

Bill felt Stacy should be fired for not taking responsibilty for her role. Ivanka didn't think Brent would last long, but thought Pepi owned the failure because he did nothing to check any of the elements that were "spinning out of control."

Trump fired Stacy, put Michael on notice, told Brent that he probably won't last long at all, and fired Pepi.

The last thing Pepi and Stacy saw before boarding their elevator to the street ... the "back to the loft" elevator doors closing on a smiling Brent.

Carolina v Duke - And the winner is ...

2006-03-04T23:14:00.000-05:00

Heels win! But not without some anxious moments down the stretch.

Two quick three-pointer put Duke right back in the thick of things. For a few minutes the teams traded baskets and empty possessions.

In the final minute the Heels hit their free throws and took care of the ball to seal the deal!

Man! Any time the Heels can go into Cameron and beat those brats on their own turf ... it's a good year!

Carolina v Duke - 5 Minutes

2006-03-04T22:55:00.000-05:00

Carolina maxed their lead at 11. But instead of taking advantage of opportunities to further expand that lead they're using turnovers and fould to allow Duke to hang around and close the lead with the clock stopped.

Mark this day on your calendar. Duke Vitale admitted that this Duke team "road the coattails" of 2 superstars (Reddick and Shelden Williams). That's a mildly negative comment on Vitale's favorite team, nay, on his very lifeblood.

Carolina v Duke - Midway 2nd Half

2006-03-04T22:41:00.000-05:00

After a seesaw battle, Carolina has opened up an 8-pt lead. As fast as things are moving, nothing is safe. The secret: a few possessions in a row where they played defense, took care of the ball on offense, and got good shots.

The team that can do that the most down the stretch will take this game.

Hang on ... Duke Vitale is in JJ Reddick apologist mode - Reddick is cold tonight.

Carolina - Duke in progress

2006-03-04T21:40:00.000-05:00

This is the big one bayyyybeeee! Carolina at Duke to wrap up the regular season. Duke Vitale is so amped he's talking, er, screaming in sentence fragments.

The start was frenzied. The younger Heels had trouble hanging onto the ball but kept themselves in it with high octane defense.

Carolina has briefly taken the lead a couple of times but for the most part Duke is keeping 4-6 pts ahead of the Heels.

The pace of this game is incredible. As the Heels settle down they are managing some high percentage transition baskets.

Shelden Williams picking up two early fouls could be a factor.

I'm salivating imagining what this Carolina team will be like with a year of experience under their belts and a strong recruiting class coming in. Long live Roy Williams!

Think ESPN is the ACC and Duke ministry of information? They've got the game on ESPN. ESPN2 is showing the game "Above the Rim" which seems to mean from very annoying angles. Then ESPNU has it with enhanced statistics. I think Disney is going to pick it up later by showing the entire game from the new JJ Reddick's Butt-cam.

For the record, with about 7 minutes left in the first half we had our first "General Robert Montgomery Knight" reference from Vitale.

Google Faces Challenge

2006-03-02T13:02:00.000-05:00

Google CFO comments send stock lower.

Google's meteoric rise could not last forever. As sexy as this company is, and as white hot as its growth has been, it won't conquer gravity.

CFO George Reyes' recent comments signal that reality is setting in.

"Clearly, our growth rates are slowing and you see that each and every quarter ... We're going to have to find other ways to monetize the business."

Google is now milking advertising for about as much as that stream can give. Problem is, the search giant has been, almost literally, a one-trick pony since its inception. Of their $4.2B in revenue for the first three quarters of this year, only $51M came from sources other than advertising. So, it's a challenge.

Unfortunately, there are investors involved. When shares that are earning $5.00 trade in the mid $300's, folks are bound to be edgy. When you buy at 70 times earnings something has you banking on the massive growth continuing. Can't blame Google for this. Prior to Reyes' remarks the company had been notoriously tight-lipped regarding financial projections.

Save for having to answer for inflated expectations, Google is primed to tackle this challenge. Their balance sheet is all-beef: No debt; very little intangible funky stuff; lots and lots of cash. And anyone who has ever used this thing called the internet knows that Google is everywhere. Name an application and they have an answer. Now they just need to figure out how to turn those answers into dollars.

Stapp: Sex Tape Was Meant for Sabotage

2006-03-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

FOXNews.com - Foxlife: Entertainment and Lifestyle News - Stapp: Sex Tape Was Meant for Sabotage

Oh, which direction to go. Bristle at the self-importance. Lament the immorality. Laugh at the stupidity. Yeah, laugh.

After a tape showing former Creed Lead, Scott Stapp and Kid Rock with strippers was partially released, Stapp had this to say:

"Obviously someone wants to hurt me and doesn't want me to be successful in my solo career,"

Awwwww. Poor guy. I think he should track down the numbskull who made that tape and shoot him ... of course that would be suicide. On the bright side, this can sometimes salvage a career that has sunk so low it depends on cheap manufactured controversies for pub.

Media
Music

Apprentice 5-1: They Never Learn!

2006-02-28T01:24:00.000-05:00

It’s funny: During the opening episode of an Apprentice Season most of the candidates come across as polished and professional. A little too arrogant? Maybe. Deserving of a slap? Maybe. But they seem capable. Thirteen weeks later they're all buffoons and it’s a good season if you respect more than two of them.

Trump let the candidates introduce themselves and then selected two PM's: Tarek because he introduced himself as a member of Mensa and Allie because she is a Harvard B-School grad.

The new format worked and this new crop of candidates performed well in their opening mission. There was no tentative posturing. No taking hours to think of a team name. They hit the ground running in their quest to boost Sam’s Club memberships.

By the way, the teams collectively took about three minutes to come up with their names, and it showed. This season Synergy Corp. (someone thought it would be a cool combination of “energy” and syn, umm, syn … it wasn’t clear but I’m guessing that the word they were looking for was synergy – because it’s a word all by itself!), and Gold Rush Corp. Hey, team names are over-rated.

The Omarosa Watch: Early candidates for most-hated … Synergy: Brent the chubby, nasal, attorney who doesn’t let his brain get in the way of his mouth. Gold Rush: Tarek who couldn’t help repeatedly reminding everyone that he’s Mensa. His mediocre effort as PM might have slid by had he not undeservedly and unnecessarily dragged two extra team members into the boardroom.

This task was Marketing 101. The teams were given blimps to help get out the word on their Sam’s campaign. The key decision was how to draw prospects. Synergy offered free manicures and massages. As part of their sales effort they used tangible incentives, such as swiping customers cards and informing them how much they could have saved with an upgraded membership.

Gold Rush relied on brute salesmanship. OK, they gave out Sam’s tote bags, empty Sam's tote bags, to the first 485 customers who came through the door. But their main thrust was the hard sell.

Another key underscored by Trump in one of his “back from the commercial” interludes: You’ve got to know when to pull someone. In unexpectedly cutthroat moves for a first challenge, both PM’s put their perceived dead weight in the blimps for the day: Synergy – Brent, and Gold Rush – Lenny and Summer.

Synergy beat Gold Rush 43 memberships to 40.

PM Tarek quickly circled the wagons and got Gold Rush to back firing Summer. Lee wasn’t going for it though. He didn’t like talking behind Summer’s back and blamed Tarek for the team not having something creative to lure prospects. On to the boardroom where we see that …

These candidates never learn! They get in there and suddenly start acting like they’ve never seen a prior episode of The Apprentice or have any clue who Donald Trump is.

Summer was a clear culprit, yet Tarek put himself in the crosshairs by also bringing in Lenny and Lee for no reason that he could articulate. In fact, in the closing moments Trump was laying into Tarek so much that Lee and Lenny were LOL.

Then just as the Donald was going for the kill Summer started interrupting! Bad move. Very bad. Not only was she delaying the death blow, she was prodding an already riled up Trump. Finally he turned and fired her.

But his venomous parting shots were reserved for Tarek. “She saved your ass by her own stupidity!” And then to Carolyn and George, “Tarek is totally over-rated!”

Tarek needs to lay low and help his team muster some wins. He won’t survive repeated trips to the boardroom. And he’d do well to steer clear of the word “Mensa” for a while. It is now a punch line.

Editor’s aside: I was in Mensa for a while. Tarek exemplifies why I let it lapse. As a body they seem bent on reminding the world how smart they are and how stupid everyone else is. What they fail to realize is that they are among the least fun people on earth to be around.

What that really necessary?

2006-02-26T18:13:00.000-05:00

I caught The Bourne Identity today. Good stuff. Really intense, nice pace. Has Matt Damon ever made a bad flick?

There was one thing that was out of place by its sheer cheeziness however. At the tail end of the car chase in Paris Bourne crosses paths with two guys who happen to be carrying a large sheet of plate glass around and, of course, he crashes through the glass.

Granted this version was more intense and less slapstick, but that gag is straight out of 70's Disney car chases. Back then, once the tires started squealing you knew you were in for several of the following:

- Two men in coveralls carrying a large window across the street. Usually they'd go through all sorts of gesticulations to narrowly avoid the first car only to have the second car crash through the window.

- Two men in coveralls on a scaffold over the street painting something. When the supports are taken out by the speeding autos, one guy will end up with a bucket of paint on his head and the other will be left hanging from whatever was being painted, his legs flailing wildly.

- Someone carrying around a large cake. So large that when the chase upends them, they'll wind up with most of their upper body lost in said cake.

- Two streetcars crossing paths in opposite directions and parting just in the nick of time to allow the first car to pass between them.

- A semi trailer with just enough clearance to peal off the top of a car in the chase, without pealing off the head of the car's driver and without slowing the car down.

- If an aircraft becomes involved in the chase it will have to fly through a barn, or in later years some sort of urban structure.

- Speaking of barns, somewhere along the way the cars may crash through a bunch of hay bales.

- The chase will end up with one car in a swimming pool, body of mud or manure, ocean, lake, hanging off the the edge of a drawbridge which started opening just as the chase was approaching, or having crashed halfway through a billboard and stuck there.

Well there's a lesson for us all. If you want to motivate people to get off their butts and get that large window or cake across the street, just start a car chase.

Media
Movies

Message within the Message

2006-02-26T17:47:00.000-05:00

Lately in my devotions I've really been trying to find the message in things and not just let my mind run with the first quick thought that comes to mind.

For example, last week I was in I John. The writer talks about those whose walk doesn't match their talk, particularly when it comes to dealing with other Christians:

"...But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness ..." I John 2:11

For someone who has spent any time in Sunday School and church this light and dark stuff is pretty common ... maybe too common. We get the imagery. Light is God. Light is Jesus. Light is good. Dark is bad. We could at this point easily zone out for the rest of the verse.

But the writer isn't done with his thought. He concludes

"...is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness."

Darkness is not just a generic representation of evil. It is also a disorienting force, obscuring our vision and drawing us further off the path. The effect of darkness is that it draws us further into darkness.

Suddenly the simple, "If you don't be nice to other Christians you are naughty" message becomes a larger life lesson: when you harbor hatred for your Christian brothers, don't be surprised when you find that you have drawn off course and any number of things are turning sour.

Today in II Corinthians Paul is discussing the old and new convenants:

"Indeed, to this very day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their minds ... " II Cor 3 :15

Here again the quick and easy thought is, "Oh, he's talking about the Jews. Yeah, I don't see why they can't come around." Sure he's talking about the Jews, but they are hardly the only ones who refuse to embrace the full glory and might of God.

We all box God in in our own way. Let's face it, the more power God has in your life, the scarier things can get.

So, I can move on patting myself on the back for not being one of those lost Jews, or I can pause, realize that God surely doesn't have free reign in my life right now and try to figure out what veils I'm keeping up.

The Shallow End

2006-02-26T01:50:00.000-05:00

That online credit reporting service commercial with the over-caffeinated, preppy dork was on last night, for roughly the millionth time. But for the first time I caught this line ...

"You can even print it out if you want to!

which made me realize that they're not exactly aiming at the world's brain trust. Really! It's on my computer and you say I can print it out too!? Now that's the kinda smart, user-friendly app I've been waiting for. Sure wish I could do that with my Word documents.

One Less Bullet

2006-02-26T00:26:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid I didn't appreciate Don Knotts. I had seen a couple of his movies. They were OK, but nothing special.

But in college, Andy Griffith reruns were on after class. That was when we really started to appreciate Barney Fife and the comic genius of Don Knotts.

In a day when the average comedian was becoming increasingly vulgar opting for nervous laughter over no laughter, Knotts was all entertainment. He knew how to work his scrawny body, bug eyes and high-strung voice to full effect. He was one of those rare characters that can sometimes make you laugh just by showing up on the screen.

Like Jordan with the Wizards, I really wish Knotts hadn't played Mr Furley on Three's Company. Sure, he was his usually funny self, but I'd hate to think that someone was forgetting Fife and remembering that role.

As for me, I'll never forget Barney Fife.

TV
Media

Am I Missing Something?

2006-02-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

OK, this is ridiculous. The "History" Channel is showing Jaws. Jaws! It's fiction. Not historical fiction ... just fiction.

The History Channle is one of my favorites, but sometimes it's feast or famine with that one!

TV
Media

MS Live Office: Clash of the Browsers

2006-02-24T00:28:00.000-05:00

Moving further into the Live Office Beta we find that Microsoft is up to its old tricks. LiveOffice doesn't play, at all, with Mozilla Firefox, Microsoft's chief competition in the browser arena.

It's an interesting decision. One of the big features of LiveOffice is the openness, the free exchange, the universality. Via this tool you can connect to your space from any computer and collaborate with anyone else on any computer.

Oh, by the way that's any computer that is connected to the Internet with MS Internet Explorer, and anyone provided they are using IE.

Cashing in on the Gambling Craze

2006-02-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

It's Tuesday and almost time for King of Vegas, but what's this? Yet another network milking Vegas! Yes, CourtTV will file their first installment of Las Vegas Law tonight, head to head with KOV.

Which led me to wonder how the few remaining holdouts will enter the fray ...

CSPAN argues, in a week-long expose, that gambling is a tax on the lower-middle class and how it's all George Bush's fault. If you miss it, tune in to Hannity and Colmes the following Monday on Fox to hear Alan Colmes parrot the whole report.

Over on Oxygen, Melissa Sue Gilbert (gotta be her or Tracey Gould) stars as The Queen of Hearts, a pathetic suburban housewife who discovers her white, male husband's dark secret during a weekend in Reno. She is lured against her will into a web of craps and roulette and discovers along the way that her white, male husband has three other wives stashed in gambling meccas around the US.

Not to be outdone, Oprah's theme next week will be "Men who gamble away their children's braces and diapers money and the women who love them." The audience seems to agree ... "Girlfriend you need to wake up and smell the felt!"

Meanwhile, MTV unveils Ozzy Osbourne's Blackjack Sabbath! Double down on fun as Ozz deals the cards and the laughs. Things get a bit slow when neither Osbourne nor guest contestant Bruce Valanche can figure exactly how the ace works. But sit back and enjoy the hijinx as Lars Ulrich splits his Queens AND doubles down, blowing Osbourne's mind!

Over at the Weather Channel they're having a heck of a time.

TSW2 Template Frustration

2006-02-20T15:31:00.000-05:00

Pure frustration on the blog template front - still can't get the extended entries feature working. Monkeying with templates in Blogger is arduous. The whole thing is crammed into one file, whereas normally you'd have at least two; style sheet and template. Also it is nearly impossible to indent cleanly. I like indenting because it keeps things organized and that's the anal person that I am. But also it is a big help in finding your way around the template. The biggest pain is waiting the minutes that it takes to republish so you can see the effects of a change you just made. Very time-consuming.

On the other hand, the del.icio.us tags are working out nicely, and I'm beginning the slow process of back-tagging previous entries.

TSW2
Blogs

I Stand Corrected

2006-02-18T17:18:00.000-05:00

Previously amid my rant on re-makes, I mentioned that while Pink Panther should be off limits altogether, Steve Martin was at least a good choice for Clouseau as he does that style well.

Ummm ... I stand corrected. Well, half-corrected. Stylistically it might be a fit, but his accent is horrible. Each new clip from Panther brings a new tongue. French. German. Some kind of Scandinavian hybrid. 70's era Steve Martin. Apparently Pink Panther features them all.

Back in college my buddies and I would toss around Clouseau lines, and our accents were probably pretty lame. But we weren't charging $8 a pop. Our genius was public domain!

Movies
Media

MS Office Live Beta is up and Running ...

2006-02-17T13:31:00.000-05:00

... and as you can see from this screen shot it promises to be a Microsoft production through and through. Mind you, this was just trying to go from the front promo page to registration. I can only assume that once I do pierce this left-handed firewall, there will be even more magic.

Seriously, I'm a big Microsoft fan and am looking forward to test-driving their new product. But sometimes, the things they load onto the end user can be frustrating.

Got Penicillin?

2006-02-16T17:00:00.000-05:00

VH1 does some great stuff ... and then there's this: The Flavor of Love

I've only seen the previews and a snippet on The Soup, yet I still instinctively yearn for penicillin.

Love is molded from the Bachelor template and revolves around rapster wannabe, movie star wannabe Flavor Flav. This is the same guy who hooked up with Bridgette Neilsen on the Surreal Life, another VH1 joint. That alone is enough to make you not want to share an iPod with the guy. This was not your father's Bridgette Neilson, after all. Over the years the delicious and steamy bad girl from Beverly Hills Cop II has mutated into a hybrid of Dolf Longren and Anna Nichole Smith.

Throw in the "murderers row" of skanks vying to be Mrs. Flav and you've got germ warfare on your hands.

The "winner?" No doubt she and Flav will get together (and if its true to Bachelor form he'll try out a few losers along the way) and share every disease that they and their previous two months worth of partners (estimate: 15) are carrying around.

God only knows what will be unleashed upon mankind that day. Wear your gas mask!

Cleaning Up

2006-02-16T10:34:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm restoring some resemblance of order here.

The new features are sweet although a lot of the value is in the process, not the presentation. Tagging via del.icio.us is turning out to be pretty sweet. Oh to have been doing that all along. Now I must decide whether or not to go back and tag previous entries, and if so, how far back?
Also, behind the scenes, I've been using Mozilla Firefox (which is much smoother than it was in early revs), GreaseMonkey and a couple of add-ins which make the tagging process easy as pie. Nice.

So, that adds category functionalilty.

As for extended entries, the battle rages on. But it is a feature I really want. It's nice to be able to offer up several quick snippets on the front page while still being able to log the occasional longer post.

The new template is easy to work with, although it is still a departure from the more standard Blogger setups. It's actually a WordPress 1.5 template adapted for Blogger. And WordPress is das poopage.

Blogging

Pardon The Mess

2006-02-14T15:12:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's a new look. Yeah, it's not pretty.

Over the weekend I started adding some functionality; extended entries and categories; only to discover that the workarounds (as in working around Blogger's refusal to add this kind of functionality) depended on a more standard Blogger template than what I was using.

This one was the best starting point, but obviously it needs work. That hideous green color must go, along with that chubby, crayon-esque font in the sidebar.

So ... pardon my dust while I re-hook up with Haloscan and beef things up around here.

I Hate Remakes

2006-02-12T10:27:00.001-05:00

I saw the preview of Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau in the forthcoming remake of The Pink Panther, and it hit me ... I hate remakes!

In general, the ongoing deluge of remakes underscores either a lack of creativity or an unwillingness on Hollywood's part to make a creative effort. And then, as in the case of The Pink Panther, they just don't know when to leave well enough alone.

I'm not saying that all remakes are bad, or that I haven't enjoyed some of them. But remaking has been so overdone that I wouldn't be surprised to find at least two versions of any movie or TV show I've ever seen within the next five years.

To sort it out, here are my three classes of remake:
1. Whatever.(example: The Dukes of Hazzard)
The original was nothing special, but I'll admit that there is obvious potential in a remake, so knock yourself out. For Dukes the obvious potential was a toned up Jessica Simpson in her, ummm, "Daisy Dukes."

2. Again!? (example: Josie and the Pussycats)
Whoever the culprit is, should be embarassed to have made the original. And now you're returning to the scene of the crime!?

3. Sacred Ground (example: The Pink Panther)
It's like using white-out on the Declaration of Independence to edit in "Life, liberty and the pursuit of fun!" Some things you just don't mess with. The Peter Sellers series of Panther movies combined ahead of their time humor and engrossing characters to form impossible to duplicate masterpieces.

I will concede one minor point - Steve Martin was a great choice for Clouseau. He can do that style well. But they still shouldn't be going there.

Commercials: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly - Feb 10

2006-02-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

Dating back to my B-School days, I love commercials. It's a fascinating Science.

The Good:

Nextel - Dance Party

As with a TV show or movie, characters make the difference. Here, what plot there is is simple, and the message is simple, clear and memorable. The characters working it (and they are working it baybee!!) locks the viewer in. It also helps to be recognized. It is common knowledge that Nextel is the carrier sporting a walkie-talkie feature. So, they can concentrate on showing a tangible benefit of that feature, interwoven with non-distracting entertainment.

The Bad:

Ameriquest - That Killed Him

After investing a lot of setup time, the "punchline" is a letdown. But Ameriquest has a bigger problem - they don't have the recognition that Nextel enjoys. Nothing wrong with that, except when you let a stupid joke muscle your brand and message right out of the commercial. This was a Super Bowl ad, which means they paid buku bucks to run it. Half of America probably came away thinking it was an AmeriTRADE spot.

The Ugly:

Kellogg's Smart Start

Would it be possible to find two less-appealing, more-annoying people in the world? Not likely. I'll give Kellogg's credit though - it is easy to believe that these two are kin. The girl is every bit as dense and spirit-less as her "mom." By the way, mom, if you must talk (and really, let me suggest that less, much, much less is more), don't do it with a mouthful of cereal!

Faux Winter Making another Visit

2006-02-10T16:12:00.000-05:00

We're about to get another "winter" storm. They put an advisory out last night, although I think it has been downgraded.

Here's the thing. We're supposed to have snow for the better part of a 24hr block starting tonight. But, the temp is never supposed to dip below freezing. Which means, once again, a slushy mess and that's about all. Last Saturday it snowed all day and didn't even cover up the grass. Sure did create a lot of ice once the cold came, though.

I'm tired of farting around with this "tastes like winter, but it's not" weather. If I had my druthers we'd take a couple true winter storms, put some snow on the ground, let it melt and move on.

Pure Genius from The Office

2006-02-10T15:53:00.000-05:00

My favorite sitcom right now is NBC's The Office. In fact, since the end of Seinfeld I haven't used "favorite" and "sitcom" in the same sentence together. I'm working on a separate post on this, so more later.

I did however, want to point out Dwight Schrute's blog over at the Office section of NBC.com. This is pure genius. I'm sure there are probably other isolated cases, but this is the first time that I'm aware of a fictional TV character blogging.

And it's not just flimsy "promote the show" window-dressing. Whoever is doing it (I assume it is one of the writers) is putting out authentic posts as though there really were a Dwight Schrute and Dunder-Mifflin. In fact Schrute's blog has more depth than GM's Fastlane blog driven by real GM VP Bob Lutz.

"Schrute" posts once per week, and regularly logs comments in the hundreds. Kudos to NBC for a creative idea and great execution!

Those who are into The Office love Schrute as arguably the most entertaining character on the show. In honor of Valentine's Day, I would like to direct this fan base to Schrute's What are Men? post and the comments that follow.

Removing All Doubt

2006-02-10T10:28:00.000-05:00

"It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth
and remove all doubt."
- Mark Twain

Jimmy Carter: Apparently he doesn't know what a eugooglee is

Carter Speaking at Coretta Scott King's Funeral and showing, yet again, the stuff that made him quite possibly the worst President ever ...

"It was difficult for them personally - with the civil liberties of both husband and wife violated as they became the target of secret government wiretapping, other surveillance, and as you know, harassment from the FBI."

Even the Clintons, who never miss an opportunity to launch a partisan political jab, understood that this was neither the time, nor the place, for such nonsense. Actually, that's not fair. The Clintons are quite savvy politically. Next to them Carter is Mr. Magoo.

Funny thing is, these remarks are exponentially stronger and more focused than anything Carter did while in office. If only he'd been able to muster such fight when 52 Americans were being held hostage, we might have responded with something more than a helicopter crash.

Mike Holmgren: Would you like some Starbucks with that Whine?

Holmgren addressing fans in Seattle on the day after the Super Bowl ...

"I knew we were playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. I didn't know we were going to have to play the guys in the striped shirts as well."

Had it been the HOUR after the Super Bowl, we might have chalked this up to "heat of the moment." But a day later, after having had time to settle down and gain perspective ... the man is accountable for what he says.

The Seahawks need to own their own failure, and that starts with the coach. The "guys in the striped shirts" weren't dropping Hasselbeck's passes, or comitting offensive holding on crucial plays, or completely wasting the last two minutes of each half.

Sure, the officiating could have been better, and there were some gaffs that went against Seattle. Clean up the referee's work however and the outcome is closer but not different - we'd all be saying, "Gosh, if Seattle could have just screwed up a few less times than almost constantly they might have won this thing!"

Seattle didn't put in a winning effort. To blame the refs is to shirk responsibility for that. If Holmgren is ever going to want his players to take accountability for their actions, he needs to take the lead here.

Two Minute Warning

2006-02-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

The Seahawks have exhausted their timeouts and are down by 11. So it's time for a desperation drive with hopes that they'll be able to score and convert an onside kickoff.

Amazingly, even in a time crunch Hasselback is completing some clutch passes ... all of them in bounds. Clock management and miscues have robbed the Steelers of their opportunities.

Game over: Pittsburgh 21 Seattle 10.

What a weird game. Regardless of who wins, it is always more satisfying when a team rises up, makes a strong effort and earns a win. This one went to the team that sucked the least.

I'm glad to see Bill Cowher pick up a ring. And it's a tribute to the Pittsburgh organization that he is still their coach. They stuck with him through some lean years.

Hines Ward takes the MVP ... fair choice.

There we go .... it's been about fifteen minutes since we've seen Jerome Bettis or heard his name ... finally they got him up on the podium. What would this Super Bowl have been without Bettis? Ummm ... less nauseating.

At last some substance: Bettis announces that this is his last game. Respectable. Going out on top. Not overstaying his welcome. I've got nothing against the guy. It's not his fault the media went overboard on him.

Here's the challenge for Pittsburgh. This was a semi-solid win, and it completes and amazing run of must-win games that started back in the regular season. When scouting next season however, the Steelers have to start out in the "maybe they'll make the playoffs," category. At a minimum Indy, Denver, and New England (with Bettis gone, we'll have to go back to slobbering all over them) should start out favored over the Steelers, and then there is divisional rival Cincinnati on the rise.

Sports
NFL

4th Quarter

2006-02-05T21:59:00.000-05:00

Another swing ... Seattle is KILLING theirselves. The penalties continue. Then, as they were driving deep into Steeler territory, Hasselback threw a pick.

Pittsburgh converted on a gadget play when Antwaan Randle El threw a TD pass to Hines Ward.

ESPN already has a blowup of Roethlesberger's controversial TD dive from the first half. I guess that combined with a ticky-tack Offensive Interference penalty that robbed Seattle of a TD will be what 'Hawks fans hang their hats on if Seattle can't pull this out.

Hard to figure who will get MVP. Pittsburgh is winning without having gotten their offense on track so there aren't any offensive standouts. Likewise, when you look at the Steeler "D" the only star has been Seattle's offense. Antwaan Randle El has been part of several key plays ... I guess I'd vote for him right now. I know everyone is going to want to give it to Bettis. He hasn't even cracked 40, but it'd make a good "feel good" story, so don't put it past them.

Sports
NFL

Third Quarter

2006-02-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

Wow ... a big momentum shift.

Pittsburgh got a big run play out of the gate for their second TD. Just as they were on the brink of what would have been the final nail in Seattle's coffin Roethlesberger completed an interception (it looked that intentional).

Seattle continues to outplay the Steelers and with only 20 yards to go after the pick the Seahawks were finally able to punch it in. Still, penalties and miscues are haunting Seattle. They've drawn close but their own gaffs are holding them back where it counts - on the scoreboard.

Commercials:

Not much noteworthy.

ABC is plugging Sons and Daughters, a new series by Lorne Michaels which looks like it has possibilities.

Ameriquest Mortgage (that's a correction on what I previously posted) has another cheezy one. Turbulence on an airplane, the lights go out and when they come back up we find that a woman has landed on a man's lap in an apparent compromising position. Oh boy ... funny stuff. I think a thumb rule for commercials should be: Even if it is the Super Bowl, mortgage companies shouldn't try to be funny.

Halftime

2006-02-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

Hmmm ... Paul McCartney's style of music still works 20-30 years later. The Rolling Stones? Not so much.

2nd Quarter

2006-02-05T20:16:00.000-05:00

The Game:

Pittsburgh finally mixing their game up a bit and are making progress. Roethlesberger is definately playing beyond his two years in the league.

A minor controversy ... did Roethlesberger actually get the ball across the goal line when he dove for it? Tough call. He landed in the field of play but it appeared that he might have gotten it over mid-flight. The call on the field stands and Pittsburgh takes a 7-3 lead.

Interesting clock management at the end of the half. Seattle was pretending to drive. Then, just when it appeared that they would fritter away the better part of a minute with a timeout still on the books, Pittsburgh took a timeout? When the dust settled nothing came of it. They asked Mike Holmgren about the confusion as he was leaving the field. He alluded to the TD call. Dude ... maybe you have a case and maybe you don't. Either way you've got to let it go and get on with the game.

The Commercials:
Two movies coming out ...
"V for Vengeance" looks awesome.
A re-make of "The Shaggy Dog." Boy, those re-makes of lame movies that I wouldn't have wanted to see the first time around ... they never get old!

Super Bowl and Super Bowl Commercials ... in progress

2006-02-05T19:24:00.000-05:00

Through the first quarter:

Hard to tell how much of this is due to nerves. Seattle has the game plan for Roethlesberger and the Steelers - their pressure is good and they've kept them from jumping out to a comfortable lead, which has been the cornerstone of Pittsburgh's post-season success. Seattle is dropping extra men into coverage which will produce results before the night is over. The up front pressure on Roethlesberger is modest, but they're all over the Steeler receivers and already Big Ben has tried to force a couple of ill-advised passes into coverage.

On the other side Seattle isn't doing much better. Their opening drive gave them a field position advantage which they held for most of the quarter. Offensive line penalties erased a couple of big plays including a TD pass. Seattle does seem to have a line on some soft spots in the Steeler "D". Darrell Jackson tied the record for receptions in a quarter, partially by taking advantage of the big cushion Pittsburgh's left flank is giving him.

At the start, a slight edge to Seattle - take back one or two penalties and Pittsburgh would be in a big hole. As it is Seattle milked a field goal out of their field position advantage. Seahawks 3-0.

Commercials:

Burger King is off to a big lead in the wasteful extravagence category. Here's hoping that the King with the freaky looking face goes away after the Super Bowl.

In the beverage battles, Pepsi is continuing their "treat an inanimate Diet Pepsi object like an action star" theme which was tired at its inception. A lot of cameos; P Diddy, Jay Mohr, and Jackie Chan can't save this lame concept.

Bud Light is kicking butt entertainment-wise.

American Mortgage over-reached with a cheezy gag. Mother and daughter going to see their husband/father in the hospital. Meanwhile in the hospital room the docs have the defibulator out and use it to rid the room of a pesky fly. Just as mom and daughter walk in one doc who is standing over the dad with defibulator paddles in hand says: "Well, that killed him." Horrified look on mother and daughter's faces ... cut. It's a lot of things. Funny and entertaining aren't among them.

In No Particular Order?

2006-02-04T15:59:00.000-05:00

VH1 is doing another list show - The 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock.

Pretty good stuff. Once again a lot of memories. But I don't get the order. Apparently there was some kind of polling of undisputed classic rockers, but some of the results are puzzling.

Example: Bon Jovi comes in at 78. Immediately ahead of them ... Pat Benetar and Spinal Tap. Spinal Tap isn't even real. How do you make a comparison? And Pat Benetar ... hard rock? She oscillated between bubble gum and feminist anger, only occasionally straying into hard rock.

Another example: Lynyrd Skynyrd at 72. Immediately ahead of them ... Living Colour, Megadeath, and Husker Du. Not that any of them are undeserving of being on the list, but Skynyrd is top 20 regardless of your criteria.

My guess, they spent a bunch of time unsuccessfully trying to define "Artist" and "Hard Rock" and wound having to pick the order out of a hat.

My Old Pal ...

2006-02-03T15:48:00.000-05:00

Man! I just got an e-mail from my old pal aydjifnyshrp. He must have been one of hotmail's first subscribers too because he didn't have to go with a username like aydjifnyshrp1227 or some other variant like most of us mortals do.

Anyway, hearing from him really took me back. We used to just call him aydjif, or the aydjif-ster for short. Either way, the guy was a nut! He always had something up his sleeve, whether it be pet rocks or prank-calling people and telling them to let Prince Albert out of the can.

I guess time hasn't settled him down any - he's still as diversified as ever. One day Cialis, the next stock tips that will let you cash in on the high price of gas for pennies on the dollar.

OK, why do these folks even bother? I mean, if I didn't disdain spam to begin with, I'd shun these advances simply because they show a complete lack of effort.

The proposition is:
- Let's face it, you don't know me. You know it. I know it. So I'm not going to waste any time at all trying to come up with a name that sounds like a real person.

- Let's face it, this is junk. You know it. I know it. So I'm not going to waste any time at all trying to disguise that fact.

- Let's face it, for whatever I'm selling today, my pitch will be totally unbelievable. You know it. I know it. So I'm not going to waste any time at all trying to disguise that fact.

- The Law of Large Numbers of Idiots as it applies to e-mail states that, even when a piece of e-mail can be detected to be completely devoid of value by simply looking at the sender's address and subject line some idiot will open it anyway. It's compulsion - they are physically unable to move an e-mail from the Inbox to Trash without opening it. You know some of them ... they are the same ones who just sent you a moving poem about a little Hungarian girl who was sold by her parents for a tuna sandwich and forced to perform circus tricks on street corners. It concluded with the line, "I didn't believe it either, but it's true. Send this to 10 of your closest friends and you'll have good luck." You might have missed all of this if you didn't have the time to scroll down through the 10,000 email headers of previous fowardees.

- The Law of Large Numbers - Email collision further states that if I can get this Email to enough people, someone will bite. Give me ten people who were dumb enough to open it in the first place and I like my odds.

No TO in Team

2006-02-02T08:35:00.000-05:00

"What if Herm Edwards is the one coach who can keep TO in line?" That was the question someone posed as the prospect of TO landing in Kansas City was batted about.

It's become an annual mantra. Shanahan, or Edwards, or Parcells, or Gibbs or (insert name of quality coach here) can handle TO. Jake Plummer is a QB TO can respect. That was one of the best lines. No one respects Jake Plummer. Yet in a week where the Super Bowl teams are generally playing nice, the media is starved for a jabanero of a story. That's TO. So we're hearing which teams are a "good fit" for TO. Which coaches can "handle" him and which players he'll respect.

Here's the thing to remember as we wait to see who will drink the Kool-Aid: No coach can handle TO. No one. Especially not the good ones. And TO won't respect any team, especially not the good ones. Why? Because football is a team game and TO is not a team player. He's good enough that he can contribute to the success of a team at times, but when push comes to shove he's about TO.

The good coaches and the good teams understand this. Eventually they'll have to make a decision where the good of the team comes before the good of TO, and when they do ... it's on. Eventually some other receiver will be paid more than TO, and when that happens ... it's on. TO has no problem getting up in the head coach's grill. He has no problem throwing his teammates under the bus for the media's pleasure. He won't think twice about doing all the things that can't be part of a winning formula.

Yet someone will take the bait. They'll convince themselves that "it will be different here." Then, a year or two from now when the problems re-surface and the suckers are embroiled in trying to retrieve part of his signing bonus, or debating whether to sit him, trade him, or let him rot for the balance of a season, the media rhetoric will change. At the tail end of this cycle you'll hear the familiar strains of "What did you expect? He's TO."

Not here. I've said it in the good times and the bad with TO. He's not worth the trouble. Even when things are going good, how can you not constantly have in the back of your mind, "OK, what am I going to do when I lose my top receiver for some stupid reason?" TO is TO. It matters not where you put him.

ESPN surveyed the deep pockets. Jerry Johnson would be interested in taking a run at TO, but coach Bill Parcells wants no part of it. Dan Snyder might think about it, but coach Joe Gibbs isn't having it. These are the kind of coaches about whom you'd be tempted to say, "They can handle TO, he'll respect them." These coaches have won Super Bowls and have long resumes of success. They know better. While both need help, there is no room for TO on their teams.

NFL
Sports

Pigskin Prognosticating and Dumb Things Sports Journalists Say

2006-02-02T00:06:00.000-05:00

Last year's Super Bowl was a dilemma for me. I couldn't have cared less about either team, so it was hard to figure out who to root for. This year it's the same problem but the other way around. I'd be happy to see either team win.

I'm a big fan of both coaches. They are among the statesmen of the NFL. I've always rooted for Cowher to get his first ring and for Holmgren to take another team from mediocre to the top.

And, for the most part, both of these teams have been the picture of class throughout the playoffs. We've got a likeable bunch of guys in the Super Bowl this year.

I guess I'm rooting for PIttsburgh, but it's close.

And I'd sure hate to have to pick this one. Which brings me to ...

Dumb things sports journalists say:

Coming into the playoffs, prevailing wisdom had the AFC winner being a prohibitive favorite over the NFC. Now, not so much.

Why? ... because Pittsburgh was the #6 seed. Yeah. And to that I say, "Go talk to the #3, #1 and #2 seeds, whom the Steelers beat up and down the field."

My concern with Pittsburgh is that no one has forced them to play a complete game in the playoffs. They've come storming out of the gate each time and then rode their big lead and big back to victory. They have yet to establish their running game in a competitive situation. If Seattle can force them to play a balanced offense for four quarters it's hard to predict how Pittsburgh will react.

Anyway, back to dumb things.

I did hear one other announcer's reasoning as to why Seattle will win: "Because they just seem ready to take that next step."

Which leads to the other pointless things you'll hear ...

"They just know how to win."

"They do all those little things that don't show up in the box score."

"They come to play." etc., etc.

They should just come out and say, "We didn't do our homework today."

Stupid Windows Trick: Dual Monitors

2006-01-30T13:24:00.000-05:00

I finally figured out the dual-monitor thing on my laptop last week, and it's pretty sweet. Plug an external monitor into your laptop and Windows can set it so that your laptop screen and the monitor combine to give you a desktop 2 screens wide. When I drag a folder or window past the left edge of my laptop display it moves onto the right edge of the monitor display. Objects can be dropped anywhere on either monitor.

This is really handy for taking note-taking from online references. You can have the full-size reference document open on one screen and Word maximized on the other. No more having to [alt]+[tab] back and forth, or squish the windows to make them both fit on the screen.

Here's the catch - you must do battle with Windows to make this happen. Like many MS "features" dual monitor is available, but not readily so. In order to set up this configuration you must tell Windows what you want in three different places and three different ways ... two of which are well-documented. The spoiler is buried within a context menu like a needle in a haystack - a drop list where you switch your monitors from cloning to extending each other.

Heaven forbid this should be user-friendly!

BB&T Strikes Back

2006-01-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

BB&T won't lend to companies using eminent domain - 2006-01-25 From the "more than one way to skin a cat" department, BB&T says it won't finance projects on land taken via eminent domain. I like it.

I'm just curious about the practical side of it. How much of this is just posturing by a regional banker looking to grow? Will any of the big boys follow suit? How big of a deal would it take to get BB&T scrambling for loopholes?

__ With the Stars

2006-01-24T00:14:00.000-05:00

All of a sudden the stars are flexing their other talents in a litter of shows including But Can They Sing?, Dancing with the Stars, and Skating with Celebrities. The thing is, half of the time I don't care to see these self-important twits using their primary talent, much less things they aren't likely to be very good at.

But, that's not to say that the star/"reality" combination is without possibilities. Here now, I proudly present my celebreality package, coming soon to a second-tier cable network near you.

1. Balancing Checkbooks with the Stars! This would be the Jeopardy of my celebreality package. At the start each contestant would be given a checkbook, bank statement and spouse who doesn't keep their receipts. Then the clock and the mysterious background music start. To make things more difficult, Alex Trebec will occasionally throw in condescending comments like, "I would have thought you would have known how much braces cost." The contestant who comes closest to balancing, wins a fuel-efficient automobile.

2. But Can they Eat for a Week on Less than 50? Contestants must purchase and prepare food for a family of four for one week, given just $50. Sounds simple? Well, we have some surprises in store. Just when a contestant thinks they have things under control, one of their kids will enter with two friends, make up a bunch of snacks in the microwave, take two bites and leave their nearly full plates sitting on the couch.

At the end of each show, one contestant is eliminated via a Saturday Afternoon Grocery Shopping at Kroger Deathmatch!

3. Fuel of Fortune - At the show's opening contestants are told that they will need to figure out how to get two kids to school, both spouses to work, one kid to soccer, the other kid to piano lessons, and finally return home with everyone at the end of the day. Just as everyone breathes a sigh of relief thinking that this won't be so bad, the host says, "Oh, and by the way, did I mention that we're raising the price of a tank of gas to 25% of your monthy income!? Go!!"

Hope you'll be watching!

NFL Playoff Update

2006-01-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

Snoozers this past weekend. The Conference Championships showed a lot of promise going in. Unfortunately both games wound up pitting one team that came to play against one that didn't.

Hats off to the winning coaches. Holmgren and Cowher didn't come to entertain us with nail-biters. They game-planned their opponents to perfection. As a result both games were effectively over by the half.

As they did last week, the Steelers jumped on Denver early and didn't let up. And with a big lead in the second half they turned to a conservative ball control offense to grind the minutes away.

Of course the return of old school Jake Plummer helped Pittsburgh's cause. Turns out that the most effective part of the Steelers' plan was to quickly maneuver into a position where Bronco hopes rested solely on the arm and decision-making of "the Snake." With turnover after turnover all the Plummer hype came crashing to earth.

Speaking of over-hyped, Steve Smith was relatively MIA in Seattle yesterday. For some reason Holmgren chose to pass on the Bears' strategy of literally laying down for Smith. With their secondary actually covering the Panthers' star receiver Seattle had quite a bit of success.

-- B --

Frankly, I'm already sick of the "Jerome gets to go home for the Super Bowl" story line. It's not like he's some poor gymnast transplanted from an Eastern Bloc nation. This is America and Bettis has millions of dollars. He can go to Detroit any time he wants.

-- B --

Finally, two weeks of ESPN hell are upon us. In the runup to this past weekend, with only a one-week gap and two games on the agenda ESPN still spent more time "entertaining" with comparisions of Jake Plummer and Ben Roethlisberger's beards than on anything of substance. Now they've got two weeks and only one game. There isn't likely to be one aspect of this game or these teams that won't be overexposed. It looks to be a great game if we can just survive two weeks without becoming irrepairably sick of both Seattle and Pittsburgh. Here are some things to watch for ...

- As I've already discussed, the "Poor little Jerome gets to go home," storyline will be beaten to death. Given two weeks, it seems inevitable that Campbell's Chunky Soups will pick up on this.

- When the pundits forecast the game, somehow the Steeler teams that won 4 Super Bowls in the 70's will be a factor. Mind you, there is no consequential linkage between the two other than city and uniform color, but that won't stop the idiots. When faced with a choice between thinking and drawing on irrelevant trivia, well ... we shouldn't expect too much.

- When the pundits forecast the game, many will resort to inane qualifiers. Example: "Well Jimmy, I think that if Shaun Alexander rushes for over 500 yards, Seattle has a good chance." Personally, I think that if Pittsburgh can manage to score more points than Seattle they could win this one.

- The gang will get out there on their little, green in-studio football field to teach us about the offenses. For my money, nothing adds to the enjoyment of football more than seeing former players in shirts and ties trying to get in and out of a three-point stance without losing their lapel mic's.

- Too much Terry Bradshaw with his Steeler history.

- Beautiful portraits of Detroit despite its high crime rate and a continuing string of bad news coming out of the auto industry.

81!

2006-01-23T17:19:00.000-05:00

Kobe and the 81 he hung on Toronto last night are the talk of the NBA. It is an amazing accomplishment. And if they handed out free passes to the playoffs for teams that have a player score 80+ in one game, LA would be really lucky to have Kobe. Instead, for all the fireworks, Kobe's team remains an average Western Conference squad hovering around the .500 mark.

The telling quote: "It was a pleasure just to watch him out there," from teammate Lamar Odom. That's a dream starting lineup ... 1 ego and 4 spectators.

This kind of imbalance has never been a recipe for long-term success in the NBA and Laker Coach Phil Jackson, of all people, knows it. Jackson's pre-Laker superstar Michael Jordan didn't collect any hardware until surrounded with other options.

Miami Vice Memoirs

2006-01-22T00:49:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon a couple episodes of Miami Vice today. Man, in its day that show was cutting edge. Somehow I never noticed that it was all window-dressing: cars, clothes and boobs. The acting, if you can call it that, was horribly flat. And not a lot of dialog. For the most part they all spend their time brooding.

Tubbs wears a sharp suit and expensive watch as he broods over how much more exciting life was back in New York. Miami is a hick town compared to the Big Apple.
Crockett's alligator Elvis ate his hot pink deck shoes. Crocket turns to alcohol and brooding as he reflects with a sultry Tina Turner song in background. Man, it's gonna be hard to get over the loss of those shoes.
Crockett and Tubbs pause in a stairwell to brood and lament the fact that they've already shot up the marina, shot up the club, shot up the small ethnic neighborhood and drove Crockett's Ferrari around in the middle of the night with the Miami skyline and Phil Collins in the background and still they have thirty minutes and three Colombian drug lords to kill.
Crockett and Tubbs stop to brood and reflect. Tubbs laments the fact that he wouldn't have to wear a pink shirt if this were New York. Crockett shows his a** wrapped in a pair of white cotton Dockers, and wonders why Tubbs gets to wear the pink shirt.
Crockett and Tubbs shot up the marina, the club and the small ethnic neighborhood. On top of that Crocket can never seem to remember to return the Ferrari to the motor pool. Lt Castillo broods as he wonders how he'll discuss all of this with his detectives and explain it to City Hall without exceeding his allotted 15 spoken words per episode.

Louisville Coaches on a Limb

2006-01-21T16:48:00.000-05:00

Rick Pitino was interviewed on ESPN this morning in preparation for tonights tilt between the Cards and U Conn. The coach stated quite emphatically, and several times, that Louisville HAD to win tonight. "We MUST win this game!"

OK, it's not quite a guarantee but there's no "wiggle room" there. One has to wonder if he's being equally clear with his players, and if so, what will his parachute be when the Cards lose. Because, they will.

There's no shame in it. Louisville is a young team that has experienced the dual misfortunes of entering their inaugural Big East campaign with a fraction of the ability that they had during last year's Final Four run, and being massively over-ranked for much of this season. The Cards simply don't have the horses to topple one of the best teams in the country.

Meanwhile, over on the football field Louisville Coach Bobby Petrino was once again the subject of vague "leaving for another job" rumors shortly after the Cards' season ended. Later the rumors gained focus when the Oakland Raiders' top spot opened up. Petrino quickly squelched the talk but this could be more of a commitment to sanity than to Louisville.

Personally, I appreciate what Petrino has done here, but I won't be broken-hearted when he leaves. Two problems from the John L. Smith years have re-surfaced. First, Louisville is once again prone to falling short mentally and losing games they should win. Although they lost the Gator Bowl, Louisville played Va Tech tough and brought credit on themselves. But it's not hard to get up for a big Bowl game against a national power. Earlier in the season the Cards went to South Florida and stunk up the joint, not because USF was better, but because USF came ready to play when Louisville didn't. That's on the coach.

Second, as with Smith, Petrino is annually rumored to be moving on to any glamorous coaching position that comes available. Granted, you can't always control what people say. However, there are a number of good coaches out there but only a handful of names repeatedly come up.

As far as I'm concerned, Petrino can move on and make room for someone willing to keep both eyes on Louisville.

"King" of Vegas

2006-01-21T15:58:00.000-05:00

Caught the premier of "King of Vegas" on Spike this week. Lame.

Clearly everyone is trying to expand Poker's coattails. Thing is, they've tried this before with other Casino games. The magic doesn't translate. In poker players must necessarily win as it is a man vs. man game. Not so with games like Blackjack, Roulette and Craps. These games are man vs. house and are tilted toward the house. So in these games, the "winners" are often the players who lose the least, which makes me wonder why Vegas gets behind these ventures.

Just as annoying are some of the players who are trying to put themselves on the map. One guy showed up dressed to pimp and Hollywood Dave, the Blackjack "expert" who first appeared on an earlier version of this concept, still needs to be slapped.

To remove any remaining potential for skill to play a role, they play a minimal amount at each game. Even the guys who really do succeed at Blackjack, the counters, understand that a winning advantage can only be gained over the long haul.

Most curious of all is Poker's role in this concept. The contestants who don't perform well at the other games are sent to the Texas Hold-em Death Match where the loser is sent packing. This puts the two World Class poker players, Mike "the mouth" Matusow and 2004 WSOP runner-up David Williams at a huge advantage. Talk about a wolf among the sheep! The timid blackjack players clearly had no idea how to handle Matusow, an opponent with unpredictable responses.

Unless Poker will be taken out of the equation later on, I don't see how Matusow and Williams can lose.

2006-01-21T15:00:00.000-05:00

Busy week - doing some catching up this weekend ...

This one should be interesting. Activists are attempting to seize Justice David Souter's New Hampshire Home in order to build an inn on the site. The group is outraged at the Supreme Court's recent eminent domain ruling in Kelo vs City of New London and is attempting to turn the concept on one of its justices. If successful, the group will call their project "The Lost Libety Hotel."

Division Playoffs Rehash

2006-01-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

Wow, compared to the rest, Seattle-Washington was a snoozer.

Each of the four teams left is a great story and a reasonable bet to win the Super Bowl, yet the Colts are the talk of the day with their loss. The story lines abound: Dungy still has that monkey on his back, Peyton still has that monkey on his back, will they re-sign Edgerrin James?, Manning calls out his Offensive Line, etc., etc.

Apparently back in week 13 when Indy locked up home field, first-round bye, and pole position at the Indianapolis 500, the Colts joined everyone else in believing that the Super Bowl was a lock. Prior to yesterday's game someone pointed out that Indy hadn't played a meaningful game in a month. I still say the problem was that the Colts hadn't played WELL in a month. It showed. Their high octane depends on precision and timing ... the first things to go when you aren't keeping your game sharp.

All of this overlooks Pittsburgh's effort. From top to bottom they were ready. The game plan was perfect and the Steelers executed with a vengeance. Troy Polomalu was a terror. Watch the highlights today and all you see is Peyton Manning drowning in a sea of white shirts and black helmets with a wild mop of frizzy hair leading the charge. Theirs was a simple but effective formula: Physical intimidation across the board, and relentless pressure on Manning.

Which brings us to the Colts O-line. Pittsburgh overwhelmed the Colts' feeble effort to protect their quarterback and open things up for James. But Manning did little to help his own cause. He didn't settle in and didn't evade. And in the Colts offense, with all of the no-huddling and constant audibling, Manning is the Coordinator.

Beyond all that, there is a time and a place for everything. Postgame in front of the national media is neither the time nor the place to acknowledge and verbalize that your O-Line could have done better. Unless Manning is planning a surprise retirement, who is he expecting to have his back next season?

So, Dungy still can't win the big one. Manning still can't win the big one. While they're getting better, the Colts are still soft. They are probably one of the NFL's most impressive team's ever when they can control things and Manning has the luxury of sitting back in the pocket and picking teams apart. But to reach and win a Super Bowl you have to get dirty.

One final note: I'm really glad Indy didn't pull it out after recovering Bettis' fumble in the game's closing moments. He would have been the new Buckner which would have been a shame. Bettis played a great game and was a key cog in the Steeler machinery as they chewed up the second half of the game. Bettis and Pittsburgh deserved to leave Indianapolis as winners.

Now it's wide open. Any team can win. Beating Denver or Seattle in their own homes will be a formidable task, but Pittsburgh and Carolina have been killer on the road. Pittsburgh dismantled the Colts in Indianapolis and the only memories we have left of the fierce Bears Defense feature Carolina receiver Steve Smith running wild in the secondary and lighting Chicago up for 212 yards.

Pittsburgh will have to muster another flawless effort to topple the Broncos in Denver, but in Seattle all bets are off. Seattle was easily the most suspect of the bye teams, being the beneficiary of playing in the weakest division of the weakest conference in football.

My picks: In an all out battle, Pittsburgh narrowly escapes Denver to return to the Super Bowl and get Bill Cowher his first ring. Shaun Alexander is the wild card in Seattle. If he is 100% Carolina wins a close one. Without Alexander the Panthers will continue their roll. I know, Alexander was essentially absent from this past weekend's Seahawk victory. You can do that against the Redskins. This week Holmgren's crew will be facing a real team.

Playoff Update

2006-01-15T14:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I got the winners right in yesterday's games although I under-estimated how much Seattle would struggle with Washington. Who knew Shaun Alexander would go down in the first quarter?

Finally we are rid of the Patriots. But, the Brady / Pat apologists were churning hard right to the end. Regarding Brady frequently overthrowing wide open receivers one pundit speculated that Brady was probably having trouble with the altitude. At the end of the game another moaned that all the bounces had gone Denver's way. This is true to a point. Brady's two interceptions ... the Broncos came up with both of them.

Live update: 2nd Quarter of Steelers at Colts
Indy came out rusty as I expected. Manning is off, but the lines are really killing them. Pittsburgh marched straight down the field like the Colts weren't even in the stadium on their first two drives, and the offensive line has been equally sieve-like which is keeping Manning from being able to get his feet set. When Edgerrin James tries to run the Steeler "D" is beating him to the corners. So far three 3-and-out's. You've got to hand it to Pittsburgh - they've got a great game plan. They are pouncing on every opening they get. Indy won't be down forever so the Steelers are getting as far out in front as they can.

Wow, Pittsburgh punted and pinned the Colts back at their own 1, but now Indy is moving and using all of their weapons in the process. Key play: On 3rd down, Polamalu moved up to blitz at the last moment but Manning and Fletcher picked up the 1st down with a quick pass in Polamalu's wake. This could be the turning point.

Calling all Geeks and Writers

2006-01-15T14:11:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across a couple of interesting items while catching up on my feeds at Bloglines:

Take the Geek Test:
innergeek has posted v 3.1 of the geek test. I weigh in at 33%, a Total Geek by innergeek's scale, just shy of Major Geek.

My disdain for all things Star Trek held me back, which got me to thinking ... the term "geek" is too vague. Like the eskimoes and their 98 words for snow, we need clearer stratification of geekhood. The biggest distinction is that between useful and useless geek skills. Say your mouse is catching. Useful geek skills: knowing how to clean the lint out of your own mouse, buying and installing a wireless optical mouse. Useless geek skills: knowing how to speak Klingon.

This got me thinking further ... one of the passages into adulthood is mentally accepting that geek skills have a lot more practical value than many of the things that were important in your adolescent years. Valuable: Knowing the basics of computer setup Why: You don't have to go without your computer for two days waiting for IT to show up and point out that you must have accidentally kicked off your surge protector. Not valuable: being able to drink a beer while standing on your head.

Amateur Writers:
Roy Peter Clark has posted 50 writing tools over at Poynter online. Good stuff.

NFL Playoffs - Weekend Two

2006-01-14T14:01:00.000-05:00

In the wake of a great college Bowl season the NFL opened its playoffs with a snoozer of a Wild Card round. The only game that wasn't lopsided, Washington at Tampa Bay, while interesting, was a battle of two teams that have no long-term playoff hopes. And one question , I was really looking forward to seeing answered was whether the rising Steelers could beat the falling Bengals. Carson Palmer's early exit rendered the question unfair and was probably the weekend's only significant moment.

Weeks earlier, the young talented Bengals seemed destined to become one of the league's top powers. Now after a weak finish, Palmer's injury, which could be anything from minor to career-ending depending on which doctor you listen to, and Chad Johnson's demonstrated desire to become the next T.O. in every sense, there are a lot of questions in Cincinnati.

This week holds more promise. Only the Redskins' visit to Seattle seems destined to become a route. Despite that, with ages of tradition behind them and Joe Gibbs at the helm, the Skins are one of my sentimental favorites so I'll watch with interest.

New England will be facing their toughest test since they regained their championship form when they visit the Broncos this evening. Denver could easily bring the Patriots two-year run to an end. Here's hoping as much so we can stop watching ESPN drool over Tom Brady. Funny thing, preseason and now recently when the Patriots have been doing well Tom Brady is God. But when New England wasn't doing so well you didn't hear much about Brady. Now a lot has changed on that team over the season but Brady has been a constant. So I guess God just took a break there for awhile.

Are Da Bears back? The Carolina Panthers will find out tomorrow. Word on the street is that Rex Grossman isn't ready (and will probably never be ready) to lead a championship caliber team. Folks, this is Chicago's recipe for NFL success: power defense anchored by all-world linebacker play and brutal postseason weather (Chicago in January is where dome teams go to die) and both of these things in such proportions that a lame quarterback like Grossman, Kyle Orton, or Jim McMahon can't screw it up.

Pittsburgh at Indianapolis is a mystery. It could be a great battle or it could be a done deal after the first quarter. As I've previously mentioned, it has been almost a month now since the Colts have trotted out their "A" game. Indy was lucky to draw the Steelers as they are the only team left in the AFC against whom Peyton Manning & Co. can play their way back into peak form without it costing them the game. The Colts have too much offense for Pittsburgh's "D" and the Steelers' offense can't hope to keep up in a shootout. Bill Cowher needs a perfect game plan and his team must execute flawlessly to have any chance.

My picks: Seattle over Washington without breaking a sweat, Denver over New England solid but not a blowout, Carolina over Chicago in an exciting close game, and Indianapolis over Pittsburgh also solid but not a blowout.

Change of Plans

2006-01-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

Life turns on a dime.

Yesterday a friend found out that she has lung cancer. Today she's having part of her lung removed and is hoping they'll get it all.

Whatever I was going to gripe about today ... it's not important.

Checking In

2006-01-11T15:16:00.000-05:00

Wow, crazy week - meetings all over the place and not a lot of time for blogging.

During a quiet moment of catching up at the office I thought I'd check in and inform / remind everyone about the Supreme Court blog. They are liveblogging the Alito hearings in reasonably unvarnished fashion.

It's a nice place to get the skinny without having to sort throught the "Alito is Satan incarnate" / "the Democrats are Satan incarnate for trying to make Aliton out to be Satan incarnate" rhetoric.

Vick Update

2006-01-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

Well, with the rest of the bowl games and now the NFL playoffs, this thing hasn't been dominating the news, to which I say, "Thank Gawwwd!" Can the Marcus Vick story get any uglier?

While the fans waited to see what would be Vick's punishment for stepping on an opponent during a break in play during the Gator Bowl even more information surfaced. Vick had been stopped for speeding and driving on a suspended license in mid-December. Seeing as this was Vick's "last chance" at Va Tech, one wonders why he was playing in the Gator Bowl ... well, no, that's not entirely accurate. One looks at the Va Tech program and knows exactly why Vick was playing in the Gator Bowl.

Beamer explained that he didn't know about the speeding ticket, only the suspended license prior to the Bowl. I'm not sure how he thought the driving with a suspended license came to light ... maybe one of those suspended license radar traps that Virginia's finest are always running.

Anyway, apparently after pot, giving alcohol to minors, partying with underage women, flipping off West Virginia, stepping on a player, and the suspended license, 13 over was too much! Vick was kicked off the team.

With options running out, he declared for the NFL draft. At this point Vick apparently figured that he wasn't bringing quite enough baggage with him to the NFL. So he went to a McDonald's and pointed a gun at some folks.

Now, I think the NFL is a dicey proposition for Texas QB Vince Young, who couldn't ask for a better send off from the NCAA. Where has the half QB/half HB QB gotten any team in the NFL? Ever? Michael Vick is making a big splash in Atlanta, but at the end of the day they're at home watching the playoffs on TV. But, while the debate on this continues, plenty of teams are still willing to give it a shot in order to put the ball in their best athlete's hands on every play.

But, Marcus Vick hasn't made his case on the field, whatever style you may want him to play. Sure, he rolled up some impressive highlights and big numbers on the average slow, weak defenses that inhabit the NCAA. Against Miami however, with a defense that begins to approach what he can expect in the NFL (approaches, but doesn't nearly arrive), it was a Marcus Vick turnover-fest and bad decision bonanza.

After all that, add in that the younger Vick is out of control off the field. It's like Clarett all over again. You can look at some things and not approve, but remember how it is to be in college where you feel insulated, invincible and care-free. But now he's on the clock. Now everything counts. Everyone who will have a hand in deciding whether Vick gets the shot he's seeking is watching and asking, "Is he salvageable?" And, in a pointless display of stupidity, Vick's opening response to that question, "Maybe not."

Bowl Recap

2006-01-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

I've got to admit, this was a pretty good bowl season. A lot of exciting games, and a lot of surprising games. In some cases I couldn't have been more wrong, not necessarily on the outcome but on how the game would play out.

There are two problems with trying to predict the bowls. #1 - Most of the time the two teams haven't played each other, and a lot of the time their schedules don't have much in common with which to make a comparison. #2 - You never know what frame of mind the teams will come in with. Will they view their bowl as a slight and not apply themselves? Will this band of 18-20 yr olds suddenly turned loose in a festive town for a week burn themselves out partying? Wait. I thought of a third thing. #3 - The selection committees are about selling tickets and seem to make no effort to pair evenly matched teams in their games. Of course even if they were trying, this task would be made difficult by #1 and #2.

So my thoughts ...

First I have to say that I'm proud to see Navy making bowl games, not to mention kicking butt!

Oklahoma over Oregon in a big "shut your mouth!" game. This Oklahoma team was so weak, the Big XII-ists couldn't even pretend that they belonged in a major bowl. On the other hand, Oregon was this year's undisputed biggest whiner after being shut out of the BCS at large spots. Oregon loses - see #2 above. Problem is, it's hard to contend that a bowl game was beneath you when you went out and laid a turd.

By the way, it is no accident that I'm not mentioning the names of the bowls. In this, Brian B's Poulon Weedeater Bowl Recap Post, I'm not facilitating the prostitution of the College Football postseason!

Missouri over South Carolina by a touchdown. On the one hand, it's great to have Steve Spurrier back in College Football, and great to see him start off with a big year in getting perennial SEC also-ran South Carolina to a bowl. On the other, I hate to see the Old Ball Coach cap off this successful campaign with a loss.

You know, I think LSU just scored on Miami again! Wow. I thought this one was going to be good. The 'Canes didnt' show up that night, and now, a lot of them won't be showing up ever again on the Miami sidelines. The coaching staff bloodletting smacks of "Coker's on the hot seat." I was afraid of this when he took over for Butch Davis. Good guy. But "O Captain, My Captain," he can not be at a program like Miami. Schnellenberger. Jimmy Johnson. Dennis Erickson. Butch Davis. Larry Coker? On the upside I logged in at Chik-fil-A.com (I don't mind pimping them cuz they're awesome, and this "eat more chikin" campaign is a winner), in time to win a cow and some free Chick-fil-A!

Va Tech over Louisville. Moral victory for the Cards. They played well and led much of the game with a backup quarterback in his second start, matched against a fierce defense. And, Louisville didn't play like a bunch of goons. This game was "Get off the Big East!" part 1.

Wisconsin big over Auburn. The Badgers will miss having Barry Alvarez as their coach. Under him they were an awesome bowl team.

Ohio State over Notre Dame by two touchdowns. No, Irish apologists, it wasn't close. Charlies Weiss has led the storied Notre Dame program back to where they will annually be put in bowl games that are over their head, just because they are Notre Dame. This was one mismatch that I had right.

West Virginia over Georgia - Yikes! I was way wrong here. This was the stunning second part of "Get off the Big East!" Gonna be kinda hard to take away the "worst" conference's automatic bid if they keep beating the rep from the "toughest" conference. And, by the way, my comments here are directed at me as much as anyone. I've been a Big East basher, and now I have to be quiet on the matter.

Penn State squeaks by Florida State, in what was perhaps the season's ugliest exciting game. The lesson from this triple overtime field goal shank-fest: You can't miss 'em all. If you keep going to the well, eventually you're going to screw up and make one. I had this also being a blowout, so Florida State even coming close was a miracle.

And the granddaddy of them all ... Texas shuts up ESPN by beating USC. Guess in their weeks long "Greatest Teams of All Time and how USC is Way Better Than Each of Them" feature, they forgot about the '05 Texas Longhorns! Choke on it, Corso! And, we saw glimpses of why I don't think Matt Leinart will be much more than a journeyman clipboard-holder in the NFL. When suddenly facing off against a defense that fights back, his decision-making wasn't great.

And for the first time in a long time, after the last game there was peace. No controversy did inhabit the land. And there was evening and there was morning - January 5th.

Vickhead!

2006-01-06T10:36:00.000-05:00

OK, Marcus Vick's shameful behavior has been hashed over ad nauseum this week. To be fair, Vick claims it was an accident (despite the fact that he appeared to pause and survey the situation before committing this accident). Poor guy is very accident-prone. Earlier this year he accidentally flipped off the West Virginia fans. Then there was the time he accidentally gave alcohol to underage girls, not to mention the fact that he was accidentally partying with that same jail bait. And then there was the time he accidentally had marijuana in his trunk ...

Thing is, had Vick not taken his own game to a new "high," we'd be talking about Virginia Tech as a whole being in punk mode for the Gator Bowl. 1 ejection and 5 personal fouls in the first half! Unfortunately, this isn't surprising. Va Tech is to college football what Cincinnati is to NCAA hoops. People talk about Frank Beamer putting the Hokies on the map the same way they talk about what Bob Huggins did for Cincy basketball. But when you hear these things the roster of thugs who have inhabited those programs rolls through the back of your mind and you just wonder ... how far over the line did they step? ... how much of their soul did they sell?

Not that these would be the only programs playing dirty. Far from it. But when a team's rise from obscurity to national power coincides with the tenure of a coach who seems unwilling to address anything but winning the game, its hard to join in the celebration.

Of course we can go one level higher and blame the system. Where did the younger Vick's sense of entitlement come from? Well, for one thing he was being hailed as the Hokies' next savior two years before he even arrived in Blacksburg! Pity his high school teachers.

So, Va Tech is on the clock. Frank Beamer has already expressed a desire to remember the second half of the Gator Bowl and forget the first half. Of course - cherish the victory, screw the cost. But what happens between now and the opening kickoff next fall will show us Va Tech's soul. The fact that Vick was even playing this year was called a "last chance" by the school back in September. So what now?

Vick isn't ready to declare for the NFL draft. On the field he looked no better than average anytime he faced a defense with even a smidgen of team speed. Throw in the character questions and he's not a hot commodity. A lot of NFL teams would probably be willing to take a chance on the guy, but not with a break the bank level pick, something that Vick seems to think he deserves. Besides, he's got Leinart and probably Young in line ahead of him at QB.

The guy had the potential to cash in big on his name alone, but he's frittering away the opportunity. And with big brother Michael having completed yet another year in which he electrified without accomplishing anything the window is closing fast on brand Vick.

My guess is that, left to their own devices, Va Tech would go the easy route - make a big production out of suspending Vick for a game that the Hokies will be able to win without him. But that might invite the ACC or NCAA to step in and give the remedy some teeth.

We'll see what happens. So far, a lot of anger and disgust from the quarterbacks coach, and the governor and the fans, etc., etc. Pretty much everyone in Virginia except Frank Beamer.

Tonight I'm a Texas Fan!

2006-01-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

I'm stoked about tonight's game because it promises to be great. I really don't like either team but, for one night, I'm a hardcore Longhorns fan. Why? BECAUSE I'M SO FREAKING SICK OF HEARING HOW GREAT THE TROJANS ARE!

Earlier I wrote that during the dead zone between the end of the regular season and the good bowl games we'd be deluged with stories about graduation rates and the need for minority coaches. Not so this year. Instead ESPN was satisfied to spend a month saying that USC is the most dominant team ever, each and every night.

"OK, how would USC do against the Hurricanes of '01?"
"Blah, blah, blah, stifling defense, blah, blah, blah, team speed."
"Yeah, but don't forget that the Trojans have Reggie Bush."

Forget? How could we when we can't go more than 15 seconds without hearing his name?

I mean ... *screen gets all wavy and music turns mysterious ... looks like we've got a flashback on our hands!*

Bob Swerski: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Bill Swerski's Superfans. I'm Bob Swerski, sittin' in for my brother Bill, who is still recovering from that dreadful heart attack. With me as always are the Superfans, Once again, we're comin' to ya from Corso's Restaurant in the heart of Los Angeles, home to a certain team, which come January will run roughshod over the competition in the Rose Bowl. A team that is known as.....Da Trojans!
Superfans: (Lifting their beer mugs) Da Trojans!
Todd O'Conner: Why are we so blessed?
Bob Swerski: Now when we were last privileged to observe Da Trojans, they were playing UCLA. The final score of that game was 66-19, and I shant say who won. Pat, what happened? Pat Arnold: I think its pretty obvious Coach Carrol had his mind on more important things.
Carl Wollarski: There was a war on, my friend.
Todd O'Conner: Thats right, our boyssss were overseassss.
Pat Arnold: Yeah. Leinart was probably too busy helping find Al-Zarkawi. But you know gentlemen, I'm also starting to think of the NASCAR season coming up.
Bob Swerski: Yeah?
Pat Arnold: The Daytona 500'll be hear before ya know it.
Bob Swerski: Well, at least the outcome of that is in question. Who do you gentlemen like in a race? Now the favorites are Mark Martin, and Dale, Jr.
Pat Arnold: I like Dale Jarrett.
Carl Wollarski: Dale, Jr.
Bob Swerski: Now what if Da Trojans were to enter the Daytona 500? Uhhh, what would you predict would be the outcome, huh?
Todd O'Conner: How would they compete?
Bob Swerski: Well, let's say they rode together in a big bus.
Carl Wollarski: Is Reggie Bush driving?
Bob Swerski: Of course.
Carl Wollarski: Then I like Da Trojans!
Bob Swerski: Sure.
Todd O'Conner: Yeah, I gotta go with Da Trojan Bus!
Superfans: Da Trojan Bus!
Carl Wollarski: Bus full of Trojans!
Pat Arnold: See, I don't know, you know, I may still have to go with Jarrett, you know? But you guys figure it out.
Bob Swerski: That's all right Pat. There are no easy questions in this life my friend. Except for one, that of couse being the triumphant party at the Rose Bowl.
Pat Arnold: I know of whom you speak. ...
Bob Swerski: Let's just say that the winner shall be a certain team, from a certain Pacific town, that starts with a "Los", ends with an "Angeles." (The Superfans raise their beer mugs in agreement)

Bill Swerski: Alright, we're talking here, live from Corso's, in the heart of Los Angeles, home, of course, to a certain football team, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of college football greats. That team, which is known the world over, as.. Da Trojans!
Superfans: Da Trojans!!
Bill Swerski: Okay. Okay, by my watch, we're about thirteen minutes from game time. As you are sure aware, Da Trojans are getting ready for the Rose Bowl against Da Texas Longhorns. Now, let go around the room for some predictions. Pat?
Pat Arnold: Da Trojans, 62 to 3.
Bill Swerski: Okay. Todd.
Todd O'Conner: Trojans. 79-zip.
Bill Swerski: Oh, really? You don't think that Da Longhorns will score?
Todd O'Conner: No, I do not! Da Trojans defense is like a wall. You can't go through it!
Bill Swerski: Alright. How about you, Carl?
Carl Wollarski: I say Trojans, 52 to 14.
Pat Arnold: Oh, what? Come on!
Carl Wollarski: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta give Da Texas credit - I think they'll give Da Trojans a game!
Bill Swerski: Alright, leave him alone, that's his prerogative! As for my prediction.. at game's end, uh.. there will be two teams of contrasting moods heading off da field, my friends. One gloom, one gleeful. The gleeful, of which will be.. Da Trojans!
Superfans: Da Trojans!!
Bill Swerski: 74 to 2! ... Alright, alright! Now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What is God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Trojans.
Pat Arnold: Otherwise, he wouldn't have put 'em at USC.
Carl Wollarski: That's right.
Bill Swerski: That's right. Da question is: Now, did God create Da Trojans, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Reggie Bush made them superior to all other teams?
Carl Wollarski: That's a tough one. [ Waitress interrupts ]
Waitress: Alright, guys, here's your food. Who had da avacado loaf?
Pat Arnold: I had da avacado loaf.
Waitress: Alright. Bud Light.
Carl Wollarski: I had da vegetarian omelette!
Bill Swerski: Yeah.. please, next time, bring da food during da commercials, darling, alright?
Waitress: Just doing my job.
Bill Swerski: Yeah, alright. [ Waitress exits ]
Bill Swerski: Okay, well.. I see now that it's almost time for the foregone conclusion that is the Rose Bowl.
Pat Arnold; Not gonna be pretty!
Bill Swerski: Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Trojans were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what's your score of today's game?
Carl Wollarski: Against Da Texas?
Bill Swerski: Yes, give 'em a handicap.
Carl Wollarski: Trojans 18, Texas 10. And that would finally be a good game.
Pat Arnold: Yeah, it would be a good game. Mini Trojans 24, Texas 14.
Todd O'Conner: What about Leinart? Would he be mini, too?
Bill Swerski: No, he would be full-grown.
Todd O'Conner: Oh, then, uh.. Mini Trojans 31, Texas 7.
Carl Wollarski: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine, too. I thought it was Mini Leinart.
Bill Swerski: Okay, gentlemen, another scenario: Da Trojans, they don't make it, big surfing accident.. and the only one who shows up is Reggie Bush. Bush vs. Da Texas. Okay, score, gentlemen.
Pat Arnold: Alright, without Leinart there, I gotta say Bush 17, Texas 14. He just barely gets by.
Bill Swerski: Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Bush field goal. [ Danny Sheridan enters round table discussion ]
Bill Swerski: Hey! As you fans know, sports celebrities like to frequent Corso's. And oddsmaker Danny Sheridan has just sat down with us. Now, Danny.. what would the point spread be for a game like that? Bush vs. Da Texas. Now, remember, it's only Bush, not the regular Trojans team.
Danny Sheridan: Okay. I'm gonna say the Texas by about.. [ thinking ] ..800.
Bill Swerski: Great, Danny. Now, are you from Dallas?
Carl Wollarski: He lives in Texas, eh, Pat?
Bill Swerski: You like it there. You can stay there, as far as I'm concerned.
Danny Sheridan: No, it's just that.. it's one guy, you know-
Bill Swerski: Yeah, that's alright. Just take your cowboy hat and go home! Get outta here, Danny!
Todd O'Conner: Yeah, go shoot somebody with a gun! [ Danny Sheridan exits the room ]
Bill Swerski: Alright, now let's get back to our discussion. Trojans vs. the Assembled Choir of Heavenly Angels.
Pat Arnold: The whole choir?
Bill Swerski: Well, Saraphone, Jerebone - the whole nine yards.
Pat Arnold: Angels.
Carl Wollarski: Angels, but it's close.
Todd O'Conner: Trojans!
Bill Swerski: Alright. Leinart vs. God in a golf match. Now, he's a good golfer.
Pat Arnold: Leinart.
Todd O'Conner: Lei-nart!
Carl Wollarski: Leinart.
Bill Swerski: Well, I see they're setting up the 40-foot screen, so I guess it's game time. Now, you enjoy the game, folks. Alright, now Trojans vs Stephen Douglas in a debate, what do you think?
Superfans: Da Trojans!!

Another Aging Superstar Retires

2005-12-30T15:28:00.000-05:00

This past week ABC filed their last installment of Monday Night Football. I was going to blog about how the show was over-rated and had become more irrelevant in recent years. Then I caught a rerun of VH1's I Love the 80's for the year when Lawrence Taylor broke Joe Theisman's leg, ending his career. And in this case broke = snapped it like a twig, live in front of a national audience, courtesy of MNF.

There isn't a man in America that was alive then that hasn't seen that "highlight" more times than they'd like. That's reach, baby!

Still, like many superstars who are reluctant to let go, MNF overstayed its usefulness. Unlike those superstars however, MNF could have extended its life if only ABC had recognized how tired the current edition was and figured out how to upgrade it for a modern audience. But then again, it's ABC.

Obviously our discomfort at watching the Theisman tragedy doesn't compare to his suffering. But this question for viewers remains: What was more painful for you ... watching Joe Theisman's leg snap over and over and over, or enduring Dennis Miller's attempt at hosting MNF?

2005-12-30T12:55:00.000-05:00

OK, this I don't get, and it happens all the time. Someone sends you an e-mail, and then two minutes later they're in your office to tell you what they just told you in the e-mail. Invariably the conversation starts ... "Hey, didja get that e-mail I sent you?" This ranks right up there with the people who want you to e-mail them every time they send you a fax. All these new communication media ... instead of speeding things up, they add a layer of redundancy.

One note: Outlook 2003 sometimes gets me in trouble here. When you get an e-mail it pops a little note up above the system tray letting you know who the e-mail is from and the first couple of lines from the message body. So, usually that's enough to get the gist of it without having to stop an read the whole thing. I can get the details later. But then when sender shows up at my door two seconds later, "Hey, didja get that e-mail I sent you?" Well, checkmate if sender is the VP. If you say, "yes" but don't have a clue on the details then it looks like you didn't pay attention, and if you say, "no," well, why aren't you reading the VP's e-mails?

You know what! Just don't send me e-mails anymore. Send a letter. Then I can blame the postman.

Say Goodbye to Insightful Commentary

2005-12-29T22:41:00.000-05:00

A College Football legend is calling it a career after tonight's Holiday Bowl. It's not a player, not a coach. Nooooohhh, Nellie! Legendary announcer Keith Jackson will don the mike for one last game as Oklahoma takes on Oregon. Right now he's adding a little ... ahh, something, to the broadcast as he points out that the Oregon offensive linemen have "big butts," (you know, as opposed to all those sleek and slender offensive linemen that you normally see in a football game).

Man, that's old school ... from the golden days when broadcasters weren't just pretty boys with big mouths, they were artists. The spoken word was their paint and every hoooooommmme in America was their canvas. The young bucks today, they don't know how it is. Kirk Herbstreit isn't fit to carry Jackson's jock. Go on, Keith. One last time work your magic. You talk about those big butts like they've never been talked about before, and *sniff*, never will be talked about again.

2005-12-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

Wow! Metallica is awesome workout juice. The "cheezy, but it has a good beat" music is fine for running and aerobic workouts. But when you get to lifting it's got to be the harder stuff.

Last night after completing my run, just as I was starting in on shoulder presses, Fuel came on. I figure the Metallica factor is easily two reps per set. Of course today I can barely lift my arms over my head.

The Problem with Decorations

2005-12-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

Here's the problem with Christmas decorations. In the days leading up to Christmas they are nice - accessories that add warmth and spirit to the holiday. Mind you, I'm talking about classy, tasteful arrangements. The 12 ft tall inflatable Frosty the Snowman is ridiculous, period.

Anyway, decoration are nice leading up to Christmas. But then, as soon as the gifts have been opened and Christmas dinner has been eaten they become junk that needs to be put away.

2005-12-28T10:14:00.000-05:00

Michigan v. Nebraska in the Alamo Bowl tonight. The key word is "remember," as in ... remember the Alamo! and remember when Michigan and Nebraska were good?

Notes

2005-12-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

Man, it's hard getting back into the swing of things after a long weekend, especially with another holiday weekend coming up. I think it's more of a "I've just got to hang on until Friday" mindset.

-- B --

Are there too many bowl games? Does Kansas v. Houston in the Fort Worth Bowl answer your question?

-- B --

I feel for the Colts, but they need to be very careful in their approach to the final regular season game. They've been off their game for two weeks and counting.

You certainly can't fault them. The games don't matter nearly as much as the life of a son, and if the Colts don't win the Super Bowl, well, it's a small matter in the grand scheme of things.

After many years, this is probably Indy's best opportunity to finish the job, and who knows if or when they'll get this chance again.

The problem is, you can't just put your "A" game on the shelf, then dust it off after five weeks and expect to have it ready to go. As I previously mentioned, after their bye week the Colts could very likely be facing New England or Cincinnati. Anything less than their best, and Indy will wind up watching the AFC Championship on TV.

-- B --

Just for the record, at some point I said, "white." Not wet, White! I'm dreaming of a WHITE Christmas. Oh well. I'll be more clear next year.

-- B --

It's interesting what the various cable networks do with Christmas day. TBS looped A Christmas Story" all day. This makes sense, it being Christmas and all. Other networks didn't even try to link up with the holiday. AMC had a couple different things going over the weekend - on Christmas I think it was a John Wayne marathon. Spike did their usually Bond-a-thon. I'm not a big Bond guy, so I wish that sometimes they'd pick a different testosterone hero. You can usually count on a Law & Order-fest somewhere. Not so this year. USA had a slate of four movies cycling - I caught both editions of The Fast and the Furious there.

The one I didn't get was FX continuously running Daddy Day Care. This thing is excruciating any time! Why inflict such a heavy dose at Christmas? Is it because it has kids in it? And all the hijinx that go along with an adult male struggling with child care? (You don't see that premise too often *eyes roll*). My guess is a bet between a couple of flunkies in operations. Sort of a "No one's going to watch anyway, so let's put on the worst movie we can think of and see if we can get away with it," proposition.

Lame TV update

2005-12-22T00:50:00.000-05:00

One last difference between the Donald and the Martha, and it's really just a variation on the same old theme. Tonight on Martha's live finale we were at the moment of truth for Bethany and Dawna. Martha was reviewing the girls' strengths and weaknesses and moving in for the kill. Bethany is creative, but a bit of a wildcard and often doesn't play well with others. While Dawna may have seemed uninspired at times, she does have good executive skills and Martha would like to offer her the job... after an awkward pause everyone suddenly realized that Dawna had been hired. Instead of a simple, "You're fired!" we have, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave, and then write you a nice note." Instead of, "You're hired!" we have, " I'd like to offer you the job." The show has no punch! And now, the show has no sequel.

Speaking of lame shows, I caught a slice of "Deal or No Deal," before Martha. First of all I can't get over Howie Mandel with a goatee, and nothing else up top hair-wise. He used to be this chunky comedian with a perm. After disappearing for a while he returns as a pirate! And the name of the show, "Deal or No Deal," how many seconds did it take them to come up with that one?

The basic premise is: there are 20 suitcases, and each has a dollar amount shown inside. The dollar amounts range from $50, all the way up to $1 million. You select one suitcase and ultimately can have the dollar amount shown in that suitcase. Problem is you don't know how much that is. You begin to select from the remaining suitcases to get an idea of what you might have, or rather, what you don't have in your suitcase. At each step along the way contestants are offered a lump sum of money to stop and forgo the unknown amount in their suitcase.

For example, one guy got all the way down to two suitcases left, so he knew that his suitcase had either $50 or $200,000 in it. At that point, he was offered $99,000 to stop. He could take the $99,000 or go on and get whatever was in his suitcase, $50 or $200,000.

Actually it's a great study in statistics, economics, and risk tolerance. Statistically, the $99,000 that the man was offered was slightly less than the expected value of his proposition if he were allowed to carry it out an infinite number of times. Half the time he gets $50, and half the time he gets $200,000, for a value of $100,025. But he only gets to do this once, and that's where economics comes in. Obviously for almost everyone the difference between $50 and $99,000 is a lot bigger than the difference between $99,000 and $200,000. I'm OK losing the second hundred thousand dollars as long as I can lock in the first.

Where it gets interesting is when things aren't so cut and dried, when there are a number of suitcases left and the contestant is only being offered $30,000 for example. That's where different people's risk tolerances come into play.

Basically, it's an over-hyped lottery. There is no skill involved, only luck.

Personally, I'm waiting for the day when they come up with the kind of lottery described in that book we had to read in high school, where they had a lottery and the "winner" was taken out and stoned to death. I mean, would you rather watch idiots get hundreds of thousands of dollars for being idiots, or have stones thrown at them? Easy choice.

2005-12-21T17:15:00.000-05:00

Aaaahhh, here we are in the midst of the two easiest "work" days of the year. Why people who aren't traveling take off the day or two before the official Christmas days off is beyond me.

We get off Friday and Monday, making today the second last working day. The handful of execs that did show were gone by lunch, and may not be seen again until 2006. With them gone, departure fever trickles down the food chain until it is closing time and the place is already a ghost town. Meanwhile the "appreciate you" candy and munchies from vendors arrive in the break room by the truck load.

See, this is frequent holiday season; Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, MLK Day. Then ... nothing. A long stretch to Good Friday, then a long stretch to Memorial Day, etc. That's when you want to take those vacation and personal days. Right now, what? Is what is effectively a two and a half day work week too much?

Chill!

2005-12-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

Two blogger friends; Rabe and Little A have been under the weather lately. Rabe has been watching TV and ran across "Mad Money" on CNBC. For the uninitiated I think Rabe summed MM up best:

The guy is giving stock advice on a financial network, and he's like a mix between an over-caffeinated sports talk host and Bobcat Goldthwait. He makes Howard Beale from "Network" look like Ben Stein.

I had been meaning to blog on this myself but the sickly one beat me to it. Check out his post and see the comments for my thoughts. Basically there isn't a whole lot to say here. Who is crazier, the lunatic who gives out advice this way? or the lemmings who follow? My thought:

... you've got to be nuts to base investment decisions on a 15-second rant perforated with heavy metal riffs and barnyard sound effects.

Chris and Avery Update

2005-12-20T08:47:00.000-05:00

When I last left off, Chris and Avery had been having some trouble getting in touch with each other. Avery tried to explain, but Chris continued to press ...

... i demanded for your cell phone number, buts its very unfortunate that your cell phone is still under detention in your shop. Only heaven knows when it will be released. If telephones calls has started jaming in America, that means the world cannot be guarranteed of anything again. We were of the opinion that America has the best of all things in the world, well nothing is perfect except GOD, my bible made me to know this.

Well, good. At least he has the big picture down. Avery still thinks the teleconference is do-able if Chris would just give it a try. Also he has some questions regarding travel:

Chris,

In reviewing the letter with the financial requirements, I believe Shambles had a few questions for you. He'll email you shortly.

As for my trip, I was trying to see if you could provide any advice to help my poor secretary out. She's never booked travel to your country before so she's kind of flying deaf. If you could offer any advice as to what airline to fly, what flight to take, and most especially, what hotel to stay at we would be greatly appreciated. I prefer a hotel that has a pool and concierge service. I would also need wireless internet access, preferably in the room - broadband, not one of those awful plug a phone cord into the phone and dial up arrangements. One thing that's really catching on that I've been wanting to try is a free Continental Jell-O and breakfast bar. I've yet to encounter one in my travels but read a piece about them in an in-flight magazine and they are supposed to be the rage. Apparently Jell-O is great for short-term memory and hand-eye coordination, so folks are just gobbling it up. If you have a hotel that features this, I would be pleased.

So again, any travel advice you can provide would really help out my secretary.

Also, I am perplexified by our phone problems. When we were at lunch yesterday, my boss left his phone at the table while he went to the bathroom. So, I grabbed it and real quick tested out your number, same thing. "You need to deposit three more clarchbars." I don't get it, I really don't. But obviously I'm no stranger to phone problems.

Are you sure a teleconference is not do-able. Even if you don't have the equipment, a Kinko's or Starbucks will. Surely you have those. If you call them up, I'm sure they'll have the hardware. Kinko's usually uses the Zebbo Setcom but sometimes a local store will go with a compatible off-brand. Starbucks has a long-term deal with Bernie Roper though, so they are a Max 90 shop all the way.

Let me know if you can do a teleconference and I'll be glad to help get the ball started.

Sincerely,

Avery Lunch

Surely now that Avery is getting serious about his travel plans Chris will ease up, right? Well, no.

Mr Lauch,

I await the mail from shambles ok. You are a traveller and should be able to catch a flight for yourself, the type of flight that will meet all your requirements ok. Klm is always coming to johannesburg from all parts of the world. As for hotel, and where you will stay, there are thousands of world class hotels here in south africa. When you come, then you choose for yourself. Without discussing with you over the phone, i am sorry to say there is nothing i can do again with you to go further in this transaction. Everything in this world has rules, and whatever i do i abide by the rules. You are now trying to tell me that people from the united states do not make calls to south africa again. please come out from your shield . Be more transperent.

Chris

He just wants Avery to be more transparent and come out from behind his shield, or actually come out from behind the shield first. Anyway, now it was Avery's turn to be miffed. Turns out that Avery has been putting on a brave front while behind the scenes things aren't going so well.

Chris,

Well, I guess you have showed your blue colors with this one! I thought I knew you ... turns out I don't know you at all. You want transparent ... you've got it!
Shambles told me you'd turn out to be a jerk. "No," I said, "Chris is a good guy. You don't know him like I do. "Well, I guess Shambles was right. Great! Now I owe him a Fresca.

I have been very patient in putting up with your changed email addresses and strange phone messages and what not, meanwhile back here I am going through a difficult time dealing with all the storm damage. I showed you my neighbor's house, right? Well, what I didn't show you is what happened to my house:
Why? Because that's me. That's how I roll. I don't trouble other people with my problems.

So, I'm deailng with this. I haven't had freaking phone service for over a week now. I've had to rely on using other people's cell phones when they leave them laying around. But still, I hear about Widow Olds' situation and my thought is not, "Oh, I can't help them. I've got problems of my own." No! I'm like, "You know, things may be difficult, but I'm going to soldier on and get this thing done because it's the right thing to do."

And I've been working at it, difficult as it may be. But then I come home and get this crap from you!

I travel a lot, and can make my own arrangements, sure. You're right. But you know what? When I travel to a place in California that I've never been to, I call my contact there to see if they can recommend a good place to stay and what airline has good connections. Why? Because they freaking live there and know the place and I don't. And you know what else? They usually are very courteous about providing the information that I request. Why? Because they're not too freaking stupid to realize that since I'm in a position to do them a favor, they'd better be nice. So, since I've never been to your dark, stinky hole of a country, I thought that perhaps you could recommend a nice place to stay and give some guidance on airlines from your experience, since YOU FREAKING LIVE THERE! I mean, all I asked was if you knew of a place that has a Continental Breakfast and JellO bar, is that so much? But hey, if it's putting you out, fine. I can just NOT travel halfway around the world to help you two get your money out. I guess it's your choice.

Everything in the world has rules - is that what you say, smart guy? Well, here's me out from behind my shield agreeing with you. Everything has rules and ...money.

That's right, money! I have it. You don't. You want my help, so you'd better check your tone and your attitude at the door when you talk to me. I've told Shambles to hold off on freeing up the funds that will be needed and to not do anything until I can figure out what your damage is.

Rules? You want rules. OK. Here's the new rule: Instead of 25%, my fee just went up to 35%. And if I hear any more rudeness from you, I'll just pull the rug and look for new ventures elsewhere.

So, ball's in your chord, Chris. If you want to continue on, let me know and I'll get Shambles back to work and have my secretary book the flight and hotel. If not, oh well.

And if you want to speak, I might have mentioned this already, but, I DON'T HAVE A PHONE RIGHT NOW. We can do a teleconference. I know, that you are all impoverished, yada, yada, yada, so I'll be glad to cover the cost. All I need you to do is go to a business center such as a hotel, or copy shop, or whatever - anywhere that businessmen go a lot, and ask them if they have a Zebbo or a Max 90? I'll do the rest. Once again, it's up to you. Or, we can just wait until I come down there and smash out the details then.

Waiting for the word from you,

Avery Lunch

P.S.I will be contacting Widow Olds regarding your rudeness. I think it is only fair for her to know what kind of boar she is associating herself with in business.

And as promised the letter to WIdow Olds ...

Widow Olds,

I am sorry to disturb your illness with this matter, but as I have been touched by your situation and am doing my best to try to help you, I thought you should be aware of the rude behavior of your associate, Chris.

Below you can see an email he recently sent me. Let me just say that you're not the only one who has it rough, sister. I've been having quite a time up here with phone service being out, and storm damage to my house. Until now, it hadn't occurred to me to burdern you with my troubles.

But, when I'm working so hard to overcome these difficulties and still help you and then I get treated in this manner ... well, I'm simply taken aback. I have never, in all my years been treated so rudely by someone I was trying to help.

You have been nothing but honorable and respectable, Widow Olds. What you are doing associated with such a grinch is beyond me. Work with whomever you like, but I must tell you that if this kind of treatment continues I'll have to think very seriously of pulling out of this deal.

Sincerely,

Avery Lunch

P.S.If you two are having an affair, then just forget that I said anything.

Wow! Avery really let them have it. After Avery has called him and his "dark, stinky hole of a country" out, will Chris call it quits and find someone else to work with?

Football Notes

2005-12-19T12:38:00.000-05:00

I don't know what to make of the Colts game. Were they trying to win or not? If they were, other than one angry TD drive where it appeared Peyton Manning might just pull out a sledgehammer and smash the ball into the end zone himself, it didn't show in their effort. If they weren't, why were Manning and Edge in the game and exposed to the punishment of the Charger "D" so long?

-- B --

Speaking of the Colts, they can now coast. But they'd better be careful to stay sharp. Their walk through the AFC Playoffs could well be New England followed by Cincinnati which is far from a sure thing. I know, I know, they got that Patriot monkey off their back ... or did they? It's one thing to ring up a team when you are 8-0 and in the middle of the regular season. So what if you lose? You fall all the way to 8-1 and still have home field through the playoffs well within your grasp. Things are quite different in the playoffs when there is "no tomorrow."

As for a re-match with the Bengals, what an awesome AFC championship that would be. The first time out Indy didn't beat Cincinnati as much as they out-lasted them.

-- B --

Pittsburgh is pillaging the NFC North as they compile an impressive closing kick. Just a few weeks ago, the Steelers suffered a heart-breaking home loss to Cincinnati. Not only did this dash their fleeting hopes of winning the AFC North, it seemed to cast doubt on even a wild card berth, as Chicago and Minnesota, two teams on the move, were next on the Steeler agenda.

Instead of folding, Pittsburgh soundly beat both teams, including an improbable win in Minnesota's dome yesterday. The Steelers lead San Diego by a tie-breaker for the final AFC Wild Card spot with only Cleveland and Detroit remaining on their schedule.

Knowing Pittsburgh however, the excitement probably isn't over.

-- B --

Wow! Washington looked like the Gibbs teams of old in dismantling the Cowboys yesterday. Yet the 'Skins weigh in at only 8-6 and still have some work to do.

I really don't know what to make of the NFC playoff picture. Seattle has been consistent and looks to be the class of the Conference, which is hard to get used to in and of itself. After that ... Carolina was the fashionable pick coming into the season. They are right behind Seattle in the standings but have been unimpressive more often than not this season. The Giants have looked good at times, but another Eli Manning turnover-fest could be fatal. The Bears likewise have had their moments. As previously mentioned however, Pittsburgh recently laid a solid beating on the Bears as if to demonstrate how wide the power gap between AFC and NFC is right now. Behind those four is a mess of just over .500 teams that aren't going to make much noise in the playoffs, but have the potential to play first round spoiler.

2005-12-16T17:39:00.000-05:00

Stand by for a Mutembi update tonight. Also, and I'm really excited about this, I just shot off replies to three other prospective scamsters and so far none of them have kicked back. A couple of them are pretty sweet, so I've got my fingers crossed.

Apprentice: Hire Rebecca!

2005-12-16T14:04:00.000-05:00

Well, as anticipated, the board meeting was a marathon. I didn't get to see the conclusion of the final tasks, just the last boardroom and the live part, so these are just some initial thoughts.

Once it came down to Randal and Rebecca I was happy. They were the cream of a pretty strong crop, so it didn't matter to me who won. But, I must admit that as soon as the Donald pointed at Randal and said, "You're hired," I saw a very disappointing side of the new Apprentice.

My one question regarding Randal was his tendency to be soft-spoken and nice whereas Rebecca is tough in the boardroom. Well, Randal came in with his guns loaded last night. He was prepared for the inevitable questions and played up his superior record over the course of the game. At one point however, he turned to the gallery of Apprentice 4 contestants and asked those who supported him to stand up. This was a little over-the-top, and considering people like Clay, Markus and Alla, I'm not sure their word should be seen as a feather in Randal's cap.

The real kicker came after Trump had made his hiring decision. He called Randal back to the table and asked his newest employee if he thought he should also hire Rebecca. Coming back from the commercial I had a feeling that Trump might go this route. Randal however, exclaimed that there should be one and only one Apprentice and that the show was called "The Apprentice," not "Apprenti."

Wow! When he was trying to impress the Trump team, Randal was very complimentary of Rebecca and was careful to stay positive in distinguishing himself from her. Hand him a 6-figure job and he gets all 5-yr-old on us!

This was very surprising. A side of Randal we hadn't seen at all during the season. I'd be interested in hearing his rationale, but right now I am disappointed and strongly wishing that Trump had hired Rebecca. Just as surprising was Trump letting it go at that. Carolyn and George had both acknowledged that both players would make great managers in the Trump organization.

This whole incident couldn't have taken more than 30 seconds, yet it may have been the most interesting and confusing part of the whole 2 hours.

Apprentice: Finals

2005-12-15T11:24:00.000-05:00

The finale is tonight so I'd better get caught up.

When we left off, it was down to Rebecca and Randal. In a great twist, the two went out to dinner with Carolyn and George and during the meal the wound up choosing and negotiating for the three former-players that will help them on their final task.

We learned a lot about some of the other players. For example, Josh, whom I had suspected would have been pretty good, was the top pick of both finalists. Josh was lost in the monsoon firing that wiped out 2/3 of Team Excel.

In the past the finalists had been confined to choosing from the last six players fired. This was how you had Omarosa royally screwing Kwame in season one's finale, and Brian just not doing much of anything useful last time. And, under that format, Rebecca would have missed out on the opportunity to bring back Toral!?

Actually that is working out pretty well. From what we've seen so far, Rebecca's team is doing a much better job of managing time, serving their clients', and staying ahead of schedule. This team is putting on a charity comedy event, sponsored by Yahoo! to benefit the Pediatric Aids foundation that Trump is always helping.

As usual, I'm suspicious of the editors whenever it appears that one team is clicking and the other is dropping the ball. So far, Randal has been surprisingly unimpressive. The team is not managing its schedule well - the entire team went along to the party supply store to purchase decorations. Randal's task involves getting set up for a celebrity softball game, and while it took four people to buy a few bags full of decorations, only Mark was tasked with setting up all of the tents, tables and chairs while the other three team members kicked back in one of the stadium's luxury boxes. I'm sure there was a little more to it than that, but one guy assigned a task that the entire team would have trouble completing in the allotted time? Outback is sponsoring this event and it has been amusing to watch Outback's CEO giving Randal a hard time.

Stormclouds: We saw just enough to know that both teams will be facing daunting obstacles before their task is complete. With one day to go Joe Piscopo, who was to have been the host of the comedy event, had to pull out due to union concerns. There was a smidgen of hope that the team could negotiate with the union, but everything we've seen suggests that Piscopo will be a no-go, and any potential alternates may be precluded by the same issue.

Now, this isn't the first time such a big obstacle has appeared. We've already seen celebrity hosts waffle, equipment fail or go missing, etc. In season one, after much frantic searching Bill Rancick finally found a key sponsor's billboard next to the golf course's dumpster! I'm always curious how much of this is random and how much is injected into the situation by Trump's team to test their finalists. How else does a union conflict go unnoticed until the 11th hour?

But if Trump engineered the obstacle that Randal is facing, he has really outdone himself! The previously sunny and clear forecast has given way to almost certain rain for the day of the softball game ... the outdoor softball game.

I will be interested to see if Randal's team was able to complete the setup that night, and how both team's will manage the day of their events.

Outlook: This is an awesome final. The best so far, IMO. Season one's Kwame-Bill matchup was pretty good, but Kwame was over-educated and under-experienced. This season we've got two all-star leaders. Randal is also heavy on education, but it doesn't stand in the way of his ability to get the job done.

So, a lot will ride on how the Donald evaluates this thing. Over the course of the season Randal did a much better job, but one could argue that he also found himself on much better teams than Rebecca did. On the other hand, as mentioned, we've been shown Rebecca doing a much better job on her final task. At the end of the day however, the final tasks don't seem to yield a significant difference between the two players. There are glitches in rough spots, but the events ultimately go just fine.

In the boardroom I give a slight edge to Rebecca. Randal may have the sharper mind, but he is also softspoken and nice. Rebecca doesn't fight nasty, but she is a fighter and very strong-willed. I have no doubt that she'll come ready to rebut the edge Randal has gained by his performance over the course of this season.

Either way, Trump is going to wind up with a strong Apprentice, and he needs one. On Donny Deutsche last night it came out that Bill Rancick will finally be leaving the Trump organization this coming spring. We haven't seen much of Kelly Perdew (season 2) and nothing of Kendra (season 3), and I have a feeling that they haven't turned out to be nearly as dynamic and talented as Rancick. Both Rebecca and Randal however seem to have the juice and the class to take over as the poster child for Apprentice winners.

As luck would have it, I've got a board meeting tonight that promises to run long. I may wind up having to wait until CNBC re-runs the show tomorrow night, so no one say anything!

2005-12-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

Screwed up the Dilbert Blog link yesterday. It is fixed.

To Whoever Started This ...

2005-12-14T14:10:00.000-05:00

Scott Adams over at the Dilbert Blog makes a good point:

"Have you noticed that people become incredibly angry every December? My e-mail and blog comments become a flaming cesspool at this time of year, and by that I mean more than usual. ... It’ll calm down by mid February when bad weather turns that anger into debilitating depression. I’m looking forward to that. All I ask from life is that I be slightly less miserable than the people who hate me. I call that winning."

He's right. I'm more angry than normal this time of year, but it's because I have to put up with how everyone else acts when their stress/anger level accelerates at this time of year. The thing is, someone has to be starting it all.

It's like those traffic jams that pop up even though there isn't an accident nor any other apparent reason. It isn't possible that there is a solid, slow-moving line of traffic encircling the globe, right? So, you're sitting there thinking, "Somewhere way up in front of me there isn't a traffic jam, and the only thing that separates us jammed folks from the free is probably two or three blockheads who really suck at driving. Boy would I love to get my hands on them!"

Well, same thing in December. I'm angry cuz of the stupid thing Sam did this morning, and Sam only did that stupid thing cuz he's out of sorts after tolerating John's stupidity, etc., etc. Shortly after Thanksgiving someone somewhere started this whole thing. To that person I say ... "Lighten up, dude!"

The Difference between Donald and Martha

2005-12-13T22:03:00.000-05:00

Last week another "This would never happen on the REAL Apprentice" moment from Martha's show. Last week's reward for the winning team ... they got to go to Martha's place and ride horses and play Scrabble with her. And they all got really excited when they were told this. And after a cozy afternoon nestled on a patio straight out of Better Homes and Gardens, chatting with Martha over a friendly game of Scrabble, as the team was walking away (and I strongly suspect this was planned), Jim, the obnoxious one, said to his teammates a bit too loud, "She's so cute," his voice dripping wth sophomore pajama party. Well, Martha overhead and chided him, "Never call your prospective boss, 'cute!'" Jim did a poor job of acting surprised, "How did you heeaaarr that!?" his voice dripping with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Now on the Donald's show, no Scrabble. Ever. And if he'd had an inkling that Jim was even capable of this kind of cheeziness, he'd have fired him in week 2.

Apprentice: Endgame

2005-12-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

Time to catch up on the Apprentice.

When I left off, we were down to four candidates heading into a two-on-two task for Microsoft. Randall and Rebecca vs. Alla and Felishia. And wow! This one did not go quite as I expected. I was rooting for Randall and Rebecca - IMHO the two most quality individuals in this season's cast. But Alla came into this one as almost a lock to make it through to the interviews or whatever was next, win or lose. Apparently that was her thinking as well. More on that later.

The teams were tasked with creating a commercial to promote Microsoft's Live Meeting. The winner would be decided by the subjective judgment of two reps from the software giant.

Felishia and Rebecca came into this task having weaker records as PM than their partners. Over at Excel, Rebecca wanted to prove her worth as PM, and Randall said that he wanted to get her a win. Case closed.

For Felishia and Alla I'm not sure the matter was ever really settled. And the funny thing is, THERE WERE ONLY TWO PEOPLE ON THE TEAM! How much PM'ing is going to be going on anyway!? The two agreed that Felishia would be PM. Then, as they got ready to start shooting their video spots, Felishia had to stop and establish that while she was putting Alla in charge of the video shoot, Felishia was still in charge overall, and if Alla started to try to take over, well ... she made this gesture, but I'm not really sure what it meant, and I'm not really sure what Felishia thought she was going to do. Most of all, I'm not really sure why these two spent so much time talking about who was in charge of a group of two on such a time-sensitive task.

When it came to editing, the peace and conflict showed. Randall and Rebecca were not wowed by the actors-for-hire and had decided to have Randall play the role of the flustered executive whose life would be a whole lot less chaotic with Live Meeting. The acting spots were a little cheezy, but they put together a semi-professional video. Carolyn messed with Rebecca's head a bit by asking, "How long did that take you?" after watching the video. Randall felt it meant nothing. I was with Rebecca on that one. Carolyn is hard to read in those situations, and often that question is a subtle way of saying, "I don't think you spent enough time on that."

Capital Edge on the other hand, was not at all pleased with their action video and wound up going back to the drawing board in the 11th hour. Alla had a sudden brainstorm! They decided to use snippets of the video they had shot, but to convey the main message with text ... lots and lots of text in a 30-sec spot.

In the end the execs felt that Randall and Rebecca had conveyed their desired message with feeling and clarity, while Capital Edge's effort was disjointed and confusing. It probably didn't make a difference, but Randall and Rebecca showed up for their presentation matching the power suits of the MS folks stride for stride while Rebecca and Alla showed up in matching outfits which were cute, but very, very casual. Bad move.

Toward the end of the task, I won't say Alla tanked it on purpose. But she did appear to care less and less and seemed to be relying on her read that if she and Felishia lost, Felishia would be sent home, based on Alla's superior performance over the course of the contest. And that's pretty much how the board room drama unfolded. On the one hand Alla was difficult to manage. On the other, Felishia has been generally weak throughout and it showed in her insecurity on this task. Here's what I don't get. Alla was the key to all of the MS exec's talking points when they explained why Capital Edge's video fell flat. Yet Felishia never attacked on these points. It might not have helped, but it sure wouldn't have hurt.

The most gratifying moment of the evening came just after the Donald fired Felishia. Alla stood to head back up to the suite and her place in the final three, when Trump told her to sit down and as soon as he was done with Felishia he whirled and fired her. Prior to this task, Alla had come across as a strong competitor. She may not have had the charm or personality of some of the other girls, but she was talented and a winner. This week she turned into a straight-up witch.

So there it is. No interviews. Randall and Rebecca on to the finals.

I've got to say, this season has stoked my curiosity as to how much is planned in advance. This time there were some format changes. But also there were big-time corporate partners lined up for each week, and I'd be surprised if there weren't some prime product placement juice coming in. They couldn't possibly have foreseen firing four people in one week, so did they have to cancel some tasks or do they hold off and sign on some corporate partners after filming is already in progress? I'd love to get a look behind the scenes on the planning.

2005-12-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

I confess, I don't get the attraction to Mannheim Steamroller. To me it was part of the 80's "lets add electronics to everything and cheapen it" movement.

Of course you have to consider the source on that one. Among my Christmas favorites are two songs which I readily admit are stupid:

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas - Paul McCartney
Little St. Nick - Beach Boys

"Christmas comes this time each year ...," in the background always kills me. I mean, this is a song, you know. So, someone, or ones wrote it. At some point they came to that spot and thought, "Hmmm, 'Christmas comes this time each year,' ... yeah! That totally works!"

In my defense, these two songs are less about Christmas and more about me just liking McCartney and the Beach Boys a lot. And let's face it - while McCartney is solid, the Beach Boys entire body of work resides in the shallow end of the pool. What they lack in substance they make up for in fun!

2005-12-13T10:24:00.000-05:00

"Tookie" Williams is dead and the world is a better place. Unfortunately, the legacy of violence that he spawned will never end.

Rabe has a good piece. What gets lost behind the hand-wringing of the attention-getting few is that fact that America as a whole overwhelmingly supports the death penalty. Even in California support ranges in the 70's and 80's depending on the poll. The LA Times and the like have tried a few oddly-stated poll questions and still can't get the number below the high 50's. Not that this is a contest, mind you. I just grow tired of the protester coverage as if there were no one in the world in support of this execution.

Once again, a high-pressure move to separate consequences from actions has failed.

Welcome to Bowl Complaint Season

2005-12-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

'Tis the season to be crying ... and that's about the only reason for Oregon to complain. This is actually one of the more straight forward years in BCS history, yet the Ducks are quacking. Why? Because that's what the highest ranked team not in the BCS is supposed to do, just like the highest ranked handful of teams that don't make March Madness.

Really, when it came to the "Who?" there was no decision-making involved. Automatic bids to conference winners: USC (Pac 10), Penn St (Big 10), Florida St (ACC), West Virginia (Big East), Texas (Big 12), and Georgia (SEC). At large: Ohio State -automatic bid to non-conference winner placing in BCS top 4, and Notre Dame - automatic bid to any team that plays in South Bend and places in the BCS top 6. Yes, just like they have their own TV contract, Notre Dame has their own special BCS rule. And that's eight teams ... we're out of tickets. Completely automatic this year.

But this is all beside the point. The only reason we think Oregon is good is that they play or rather, hide in the Pac 10. If the Big 12 North doesn't get its act together the Pac 10 may well supplant the Big 12 as ESPN's west of the Mississippi love object. The only ranked team Oregon played outside of the artificially-enhanced Pac 10 was Fresno State and they barely squeaked by. Against USC, the only GOOD team on Oregon's schedule, well ... the Ducks posted a couple scores and then USC woke up and throttled them. Final score, 45-13, 600 yds-250 yds. You have to at least show up for that game if you want to be taken seriously in BCS discussions. Oregon didn't and now no one is listening.

They can complain if they want, just like I can jump off a bridge if I want. Both are pointless.

Sports Notes

2005-12-12T13:20:00.000-05:00

OK, first a non-sports note ... my town added $600K to the coffers of Hill '08 last night. Good thing she got some of our money I guess, cuz she sure won't be getting our electoral votes.

-- B --

Big shocker out of Miami: Stan VanGundy is stepping down as the Heat head coach, with Pat Riley likely stepping in to replace him. Finally! Now I'm even more of a Heat guy. Riley has been one of my favorites even since the Showtime Laker days. I'm resigned to the fact that we'll never really return to those days ... the bodies are just too big now ... so Riley coaching Shaq and Wade seems like the next best thing.

By the way, VanGundy's statement which went, "This morning I voluntarily resigned ..." pretty much means it wasn't voluntary. If you voluntarily resign you just say, "I resigned." Why they even try stuff like that anymore is beyond me, because everyone sees right through it.

-- B --

The Colts continue their run, remaining flawless while surprises littered the NFL landscape all around them. San Diego falls to Miami. Cincinnati struggles with Cleveland while Pittsburgh put a sound beating on Chicago. And, despite an irrelevant flurry at the end, Jacksonville really didn't even put up a fight against Indy. Jacksonville, San Diego and Cincinnati along with Seattle were the teams that supposedly still threatened the Colts' streak (the Bengals obviously not until the playoffs), yet all appeared very human yesterday.

-- B --

Tough weekend for my teams in Women's Volleyball. Louisville fell to Florida without so much as a whimper. The Gators in turn lost to top-ranked, and prohibitive favorite, Nebraska who cruises into the Final Four without having lost a game in the tourney.

Hawaii blew a golden opportunity. Tennessee, their region's fourth seed, dispatched second-ranked Penn State to reach the regional final. Unfortunately, Hawaii couldn't get by Missouri.

Santa Clara is the tournament's Cinderella. The ... whatever Santa Clara is, were unseeded in the tournament (but were positioned as a regional #7 or #10 seed). They took out their region's second seed Stanford in the second round, and their top seed Arizona in the regional final to gain an improbable Final Four berth.

Still, it looks like this is Nebraska's to lose.

-- B --

Where's the love for Carolina? Granted, the "Defending Champions" lost everyone but the waterboy and Coach Williams. But, the 'Heels barely lost to #12 Illinois and dispatched then #10 Kentucky at Rupp Arena. Meanwhile Louisville, despite having played no one, has risen to #4. I like the Cards, but #4? The Cards may not have lost as much of their Final Four team numbers-wise, but between NBA defection and injuries Louisville is a shadow of their former self.

North Carolina finally cracked the top 25, and weighs in at #20 this week. This is a severe underestimation of Roy Williams' coaching and Carolina's recruiting.

Avery Explains His Communication Difficulties

2005-12-12T00:07:00.000-05:00

Wow. Avery and Chris are having a heck of a time getting in touch with each other. But I really get the feeling that Chris doesn't understand all that has been going on on Avery's end of things. Avery isn't one to complain, mind you, but Chris is getting so impatient that perhaps an explanation is in order ...

Chris,
Oh boy do I have egg on my plate! I wanted to dash you a quick note to let you know how embarrassed I am by all of this. We have some federal attorneys in the suite next to us. Whenever it rains it seems that our phone lines get crossed. We had a doozie of a storm yesterday, I can tell you that. Check out what's left of my neighbor's house:

His wife's pretty hot, though, hey?

Anyway, they are working on the phone lines right now, but no guesses as to when they'll have them fixed.

I'm anxious to get going with our venture, so I thought that maybe we could do a teleconference.Do you have a Zebbo Setcom or Max 90? I don't have either at home ... I wish! But, right now they are letting us use them at work to get in touch with loved ones after the storm. If you don't have one, maybe there is one nearby that you could use, perhaps at a Kinko's or a Starbucks. I'll be glad to pay for it, just let me know. And for scheduling our teleconference, I'll be glad to work around your schedule, just as a show of good faith for this unfortunate snafu that has occurred on my watch.

Once again, many apologies. I have also reviewed your previous e-mail - the one from your meeting with all the good Christian brothers at it, where you outlined the financial requirements. Just off the top of my hide, everything sounds reasonable, but I'm having my attorney Shambles look it over. Nothing personal against you. He just needs the practice if he's ever going to pass that bar exam. He's passed it three times before (he keeps letting his license expire), you'd think he'd learn. Anyway, I gave him your email in case he has any questions.

I am working on getting the documents together for my trip. Do you have any recommendations as to travel to Johnsonburg, or where I might stay? My secretary would certainly appreciate any tips you could provide.

OK, then. Hopefully we are back on track.

Sincerely,

Avery Lunch

So, now that Chris has the skinny on what's going on, maybe he'll lighten up ... naaaah! Not likely. By the way, you've probably guessed it, but no such thing as a Zebbo Setcom or Max 90. But I figure if I could lure him into asking around about it, that might be almost as fun as the phone thing.

Communication Problems continue for Avery and Chris

2005-12-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

In my last email to Chris, I had supplied him with a "work number" that he could call. My cell was in the shop after all, so it was all I could do. I also felt it only fair to warn him that my secretary was hard of hearing and the other admin who sometimes handles the phones didn't speak very much English. I cautioned him to speak loud and slow and to mention "Swiftboat," my code for our venture. See that entry for details on the number I actually supplied to him. Anyway, it does my heart good to know that he gave it a shot ...

Mr Lunch,
I called you today on the telephone number you gave me 202-224****. I had a shock when i was told that there is nothing like your name nor swiftboat code.Its very unfortunate.
Chris.

In fact, he apparently gave it more than the old college try. This from a subsequent email ...

... The people were very furious with me when i started calling persistently and i had to tender my apology ...

Oh to have been a fly on the wall that day ....

Wave of the Future

2005-12-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago I watched "The Pirates of Silicon Valley," the story of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and the microchip revolution. It's one of those cheezy movies that is saved only by the fact that the subject matter is ineresting on its own. It really is a fascinating story. I grew up in that age - the advent of the personal computer, the rise and fall of Apple. The key: At the outset, Apple was about the hardware. In true Bill Gates fashion, the Microsoft founder saw years down the road, and beat Apple and everyone else in the industry to the punch by monopolizing content / software. My current laptop cost less than a Microsoft Office Professional license.

Now, we're at the doorstep of the next phase. Eventually the massive hard drive will be a relic as more and more content moves online.

Granted, online applications have been around for years, now. But most users, myself among them, have continued to derive basic functionality from software installed on their own computers. I may be able to do taxes, email, book travel, etc. online. But spreadsheets, databases and word processing are my main axes and they are still hard drive-based.

There was a time when this didn't matter. There was a time when you did school computing at school, work computing at work and home computing at home, and there wasn't much opportunity or need to cross the lines. Today, I've got a mix of personal, work and client files on all three of my computers' hard drives and two RAM drives. And still, I can't begin to count how many times I have gone to pull up a file at work, only to realize, "Oh yeah, the current version of that is on my laptop at home." Right now we circumvent this issue with RAM drives, and emailing files to ourselves, etc. Apps like GoToMyPC are designed to help the multiple computer user. In fact, there is a modest sized industry built around the simple fact that more and more people are computing in more and more places.

Watch that industry evaporate as more standard applications are pushed out into the virtual hemisphere. Soon your hardware needs will be modest - just enough power and connectivity to get you on the internet.

Microsoft is beginning a major shift in this area. This year they've started with some functions that are modestly useful, including Live Favorites, shown here. As the name suggests, it is an online resident version of your favorite websites list. It took a little time to get used to getting that Window open right away so that it is handy. Now, LF is one of my favorite apps, for the same reason that many other online versions of what I do on my hard drive will become indispensible - I work a lot on more than one computer, in more than one location.

There was a time when I was uncomfortable with the notion of not having things on my own hard drive. Now, for the reasons mentioned above, I'm well past that. Cost remains the wild card.

Quickbooks is an application that has a virtual edition available. Problem is, the online product is just as cost-prohibitive as Quickbooks out of the box. So, I soldier on with QB2002. That's the nice work-around that won't be available when things go online. Most annual upgrads amount to a few new bells and whistles, some tweaks of the window-dressing, and not much new functionality. Don't want the cost? OK, don't upgrade.

Of course, one look at the full Live Favorites screen shot reveals how Microsoft is preparing to distribute some of the cost. Advertising. The highlighted portion of the Live Favorites screen, roughly 25% of the real estate that my eyes behold when using the app, belongs to me. The right-hand strip is clearly all set for skyscraper ads when this thing comes out of beta. These ads will no doubt be driven by my particular favorites. And the middle half of the screen is available for whatever other features Microsoft chooses to inject. Even if straight on advertising doesn't appear in this area, there will certainly be a lot of cross-promotion and product / service placement deals.

Next up: Office. This is the one I'm waiting for. Early next year Microsoft is scheduled to start beta-testiing Office online. I'm interested to see how this takes shape and have a lot of questions. I've got my name on the beta list - hopefully I'll get a chance to test drive it soon!